A VERY LONG DAY

THIS IS THE LAST DAY BEFORE WE BURY OUR GIRL. IT HAS BEEN A LONG WEEKEND AND TODAY HAS BEEN A LONG DAY. IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO DO THIS, IT SEEMS SHE HAS JUST BEEN GONE ON VACATION. WILL I FEEL THE END TOMORROW WHEN WE COVER HER WITH EARTH? OR WILL IT STILL BE JUST WAITING FOR HER TO RETURN? I KEEP TRYING TO FEEL HER SPIRIT, I KNOW SHE IS NOT GONE, BUT FOR NOW, I CANNOT FEEL ANYTHING- IT WAS THE SAME WHEN OTTO LEFT US. THEN, ONE DAY, I KNEW HE WAS CLOSE BY, AND HAS BEEN EVER SINCE. SHE IS BUSY CHECKING IN. I LOVE THE WAY THE BISHOP REFERS TO IT AS "TRANSFER DAY". CERTAINLY SHE HAS TRANSFERRED FROM HERE TO THERE- IT IIS A CONTINUATION. SO- I WOKE THIS MORNING AND THE WHOLE FAMILY WENT AGAIN AND HAD BREAKFAST TOGETHER. THESE ARE MOMENTS THAT I CHERISH- DAD MARTIN TOOK THE BABIES AND THE LITTLE ONES OUTSIDE TO LOOK AT THE DUCKS THAT LIVE IN THE BACK OF THE RESTAURANT PROPERTY. MARIE DECIDED THAT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO TAKE SOME LEFTOVER BISCUITS AND WAFFLES TO FEED THE DUCKS. NEXT THING WE KNOW, THERE WERE DOZENS OF SEA GULLS FLYING AROUND! OH OH, SAID AARON, SOMEONE IS GOING TO GET JIMENY CRICKETED ON! WE LAUGHED AND WATCHED TO SEE IF HIS PREDICTION WOULD COME TRUE. THEN, DAD MARTIN, COUSIN DAVID AND AUNT CHERYL AND I WENT TO BMARTIN'S HOUSE TO FIND PICTURES OF BOBBIE JO TO SCAN FOR THE DIGITAL PHOTO FRAME TO BE DISPLAYED AT THE FUNERAL DINNER. I BEGAN A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE, LOOKING AT ALL THE P ICTURES OF HER LIFE, AND SOON, MY HEART BEGAN TO HURT AND THE TEARS BEGAN TO FALL. DAVID JUST PUT HIS ARMS AROUND ME, AND SAID TENDERLY, "AUNT JODIE, I KNOW WHAT TO DO-", AND THEN, "UNCLE BUBBA, GET A PILL! AUNT JODIE NEEDS A HAPPY PILL!" GIVE ME A HAPPY PILL AND 10 MINUTES, AND THE WORLD RIGHTS ITSELF ONCE AGAIN. WE FOUND SOME GREAT PICTURES, AND I REALIZED THAT THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO BOBBIE JO THAN JUST A TERRIBLE ILLNESS. I CAME HOME AND TOOK A NAP, WOKE UP TO DAD YELLING, "LETS GO, WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE!" WE GO EVERY YEAR TO THE MONUMENT INN TO CELEBRATE THE MARCH BIRTHDAYS IN THE FAMILY. IT IS ON THE HOUSTON SHIP CHANNEL JUST DOWN FROM THE MONUMENT THAT COMMEMORATED THE VICTORY AT SAN JACINTO- WHEN TEXAS WON IT'S FREEDOM. IT IS A VERY SPECIAL PLACE FOR US AND EACH YEAR, WE GO TO THIS RESTAURANT TO HAVE A SEAFOOD DINNER. TODAY WAS THE DAY. THE SPECIAL IS AN ALL YOU CAN EAT SEAFOOD DINNER, AND THE MEN COMPETE TO SEE WHO CAN EAT THE MOST. THEY SERVE BOILED SHRIMP, FRIED SHRIMP, CATFISH, OYSTERS, (ONCE MARTIN ATE 6 RAW OYSTERS AND ONLY 2 WORKED) FRIED OYSTERS, STUFFED CRAB, FRENCH FRIES AND ROLLS. YOU CAN EAT UNTIL YOU POP IF YOU WANT, AND THE TABLE RINGS WITH MALE VOICES PROCLAIMING, "THAT WAS 3 DOZEN OYSTERS FOR ME! OR I JUST FINISHED 6 DOZEN BOILED SHRIMP!" THE WOMEN CRINGE AT THIS CULENARY MARVEL, FOR WE KNOW THAT WE WILL BE MISERABLE IF WE WERE TO TRY SUCH A THING. OF COURSE, WE ONLY GO ONCE A YEAR, ANY MORE AND THE MEN WOULD PROBABLY GET MERCURY POISONING! IT IS A HAPPY DAY FOR ALL OF US, BUT TONIGHT I WAS CAUGHT WITH MY HEAD DOWN, THINKING ABOUT BY GIRL. I MISSED HER THIS YEAR. USUALLY, SHE SITS DOWN AT THE END OF THE TABLE WITH HER DAD, SAYING, "DADDY, DON'T EAT ALL OF THAT, YOU WILL BE MISERABLE!" OF COURSE SHE WOULD HAVE A TINY PIECE OF BROILED SALMON(WHAT SACRILEGE!) IN FRONT OF HER WITH SOME SENSIBLE GRILLED VEGETABLES. WE NEVER LOOKED AT HER PLATE, WHY FORCE GUILT ON OURSELVES ON THE ONE NIGHT OF THE YEAR THAT SHRIMP AND OYSTERS ALL OVER THE WORLD ARE HIDING FOR THEIR LIVES? FINALLY, IT IS LATE TONIGHT. PERHAPS I CAN SLEEP. I KNOW WHAT TOMORROW WILL BRING. I HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE. I WILL KEEP THE HAPPY PILLS CLOSE BY, AND DRAW UPON THAT CORE OF ME THAT TAKES OVER IN A CRISIS. I ONLY HAVE TOMORROW, AND THEN IT WILL BE OVER. PERHAPS MY LIFE WILL RETURN TO A SEMBLANCE OF NORMALICY. I DOUBT IT, BUT PERHAPS, I CAN DO SOME NORMAL THINGS. KISS GRANDBABIES, BAKE COOKIES, SORT SOCKS, FIX DINNER. THER WILL BE NO MORE COUTURE SHAMPOO IN THE SHOWER, NO SMELL OF JAPANESE CHERRY BLOSSOM BODY SPRAY, NO MORE OF SO MANY THINGS. BUT STILL, I CAN LIVE NORMALLY, I THINK.. LOVE, NANASEE