33 YEARS,20 DAYS, 6 HOURS, 55 MINUTES

THAT IS THE TIME I HAD WITH BOBBIE JO. I CERTAINLY EXPECTED MUCH MORE TIME THAN THIS. I USED TO THINK THAT IT WOULD BE AN AWFUL SITUATION FOR ME IF I HAD TO LIVE WITH HER WHEN I WAS OLD, AS SHE WOULD BE A BULLDOG ABOUT EVERYTHING I DID. THAT DOES NOT MEAN SHE WOULD NOT HAVE CARED FOR ME, JUST HAVE BEEN VERY OPININATED AS TO WHAT I WOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO DO. WELL, IT'S A MOOT POINT NOW. I EXPECTED TO GROW OLD, WATCHING HER GROW OLD, WATCHING HER SON GROW OLDER. I TOOK SO MUCH FOR GRANTED. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE BEEN BURYING MY DAUGHTER TODAY. THE FUNERAL WAS BEYOND MY IMAGINATION FOR SO MANY REASONS. FIRST OF ALL, THERE WERE SO MANY LOVING PEOPLE, SOME I HAVE NOT SEEN IN MANY YEARS. THAT DID NOT MATTER, THE MANTLE OF DISTANCE FELL IMMEDIATLY AWAY, AND ONCE AGAIN, WE WERE THE SAME LOVING FRIENDS AND FAMILY AS IF WE HAD NOT BEEN PARTED AT ALL. THEN, THE STRENGTH OF MY LITTLE JAYBIRD. HE WAS SO STRONG. WHEN I WAS TEARFUL, HE ASKED MY WHY I WAS CRYING. I TOLD HIM I WAS SAD- HE TOLD ME, "OKAY NANA, BUT EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT". THE TALKS GIVEN BY SISTER MALLEY, AND SISTER BUTLER, TOUCHED THE DEEPEST PART OF MY SOUL. THE WORDS OF ETERNAL LIFE, LIFTED ME UP. I REALIZED THAT I DID TEACH BOBBIE JO ALL THAT I KNEW ABOUT RIGHTEOUSNESS, AND SHE COULD MAKE HER CHOICES BASED ON THOSE TEACHINGS. HER CHOICES WERE HERS ALONE. SISTER MALLEY SAID "BOBBIE JO WAS AN OBEDIENT CHILD IN PRIMARY AND OBEYED HER PARENTS" ( I SWEAR, I HEARD A HOOT, OR EVEN SEVERAL) AS WE ALL KNOW THAT BOBBIE JO WAS NOT AFRAID TO DO OR SAY WHAT EVER SHE WANTED. SHE WAS A GOOD CHILD THOUGH, ALWAYS WANTING TO BE THE PEACEMAKER. AS SHE GOT OLDER, SHE BEGAN TO EXERT HER FEELINGS IN VERY STRONG WAYS, BUT THAT ONLY GOES TO SHOW THAT SHE WAS CONFIDENT. AND HEAVEN FORBID YOU SHOULD STEP ON THE TOES OF SOMEONE SHE LOVED! SHE ALWAYS FOUGHT FOR WHAT SHE THOUGHT WAS RIGHT. NOW, THIS GOT HER IN LOTS OF TROUBLE LOTS OF TIMES. BUT STILL SHE WOULD NOT BACK DOWN. LISTENING TO THOSE SPEAKING ABOUT HER AND ETERNAL LIFE, I REALIZED THAT THAT SAME CONFIDENCE SHE HAD HERE ON EARTH, WOULD SERVE HER WELL IN HEAVEN WHEN SHE IS TEACHING OTHERS. SHE WILL BE A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH IN HEAVEN. SHE WILL HELP MANY UNDERSTAND THE LOVE THAT HEAVENLY FATHER HAS FOR THEM, AND THE PLAN OF SALVATION. SHE WILL HAVE NO ANGER TO HOLD HER BACK, BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN ABLE TO LEARN TO FORGIVE. FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE HURT HER. FORGIVE THOSE WHO DID NOT UNDERSTAND HER. FORGIVE THOSE WHO CAUSED HER PAIN BECAUSE THEY WERE NARROW MINDED. FORGIVE THOSE WHO COULD NOT HELP HER EXTEND HER LIFE IN SUCH A TREMENDOUS STRUGGLE. SO MUCH TO FORGIVE, BUT SHE CAN AND WILL DO IT. HOW DO I KNOW THIS? I SAW HER EVOLVE DURING THE 76 DAYS THAT SHE WAS ILL FROM A WOMAN WITH THE CARES OF LIFE ON HER MIND TO BECOME A WOMAN WITH THE CARES OF OTHERS ON HER MIND. SHE BECAME SO MUCH CLOSER TO HEAVENLY FATHER, AND HAD MUCH MORE INSIGHT. I USED TO ASK HER WHAT SHE WAS THINKING ABOUT, AND SHE WOULD TELL ME, "JUST STUFF". I GUESS THAT "STUFF" WAS THE STUFF OF SPIRITUAL GROWTH AND UNDERSTANDING. SHE WAS NEVER AFRAID, (AT LEAST NOT THAT I COULD TELL). SHE HAD GUTS. WELL, THAT WILL SERVE HER WELL WHERE SHE IS NOW. SO MANY MISS HER ALREADY. WHAT A HUGE HOLE SHE HAS LEFT BEHIND. I AM THANKFUL FOR MEMORIES. ONE THING THAT STANDS OUT IN MY MIND ABOUT TODAY, ABOUT THIS FUNERAL EXPERIENCE, IS JAYBIRD, WHEN HE ACTED AS PALL BEARER FOR HIS MOM. I ASKED HIM IF THE CASKET WAS HEAVY FOR HIM. HE SAID, "NO, I LET THEM (THE OTHERS) DO ALL THE WORK AND I JUST MADE IT LOOK EASY." HE SURE DID. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE SIGHT OF THAT LITTLE BOY TAKING THE HANDLE ON HIS MAMA'S CASKET AND CARRYING IT OUT OF THE FUNERAL HOME. STRONG, STOIC AND BRAVE. THAT IS THE STUFF A LITTLE BOY OF FAITH IS MADE OF. LOVE, NANASEE