Cookie Jars

Well, I have good news! Martin seems to be doing better. His doctor put him on steroids again, and when he is on steroids, he does not have as much trouble breathing or sleeping. Funny thing about steroids though, they make you hungry. Martin is hungry all the time! For the first time in our 39 years together, he is out-eating me. His tummy is showing the results of this noshing, but I don't care. It is good to see him get some relief. He is so sweet too-let me tell you what he did for me. As many of you know, I love cookie jars. I truly do, I don't know why, but I always have. After Bobbie Jo died, my cookie jar craving came roaring to the fore. It was perhaps the way I dealt with my grief, or at least I think that is what happened. At first, a cookie jar here, a cookie jar there, each time reminding me of Bobbie Jo-and I found such comfort as each cookie jar took it's place in my home. Then, the cookie jar habit sneaked up from behind and I began to look for them everywhere. Cartoon characters, kitchen items such as apples, strawberries, cakes, and other jars that brought back wonderful lifetime memories. I found one that was an old chevy with a flat boat tied to the top of it. In the boat was fishing gear, and a picnic basket was tied to the back. Believe it or not, we actually tied a boat to the top of a chevy more than once, and had a cooler tied to the bumper! It was a great to take the family fishing. Then, I found a New York Taxi, that reminded me of the taxis we used to ride in when Martin first went into the service. There are so many, such as the bubble gum machine cookie jar, the sundae cookie jar, the "cookie cola" which looks like a large bottle of coke. My sweet nephew bought me a school bus and a cactus, both of which represent a part of my life. Martin finally told me he had had enough of the "cookie jar craze" and it had to stop! I agreed to try, but it was so hard. There were cookie jars to be found everywhere! Then one day, I came home from a trip with Becky, and what do you think I found? Martin had found a cookie jar that he felt I could not do without. He was so tickled to have found it at a garage sale, and put it in the living room to surprise me. Next thing I knew, he was on ebay, and with great excitement, showed me many cookie jars that he really liked. We haunted the thrift stores for cookie jar treasures, getting some great bargains. My dear sister in law found some as well, and other loved ones gave precious cookie jars that they had bought on a trip, or had seen at a garage sale. Each of these cookie jars are precious to me, each jar gives me great pleasure when I look at them. Well, as you can imagine, I soon ran out of room for my treasures. Dear Martin bought some curio cabinets at a garage sale to display them, but that didn't last long. He then custom made a 14ft long shelf to match the cabinets and put it on top of them, so that it went all across the room and above the large window in the dining room. He had already made a beautiful shelf with a railing to go above the bay window in the kitchen, and I had put some of the cookie jars on a bakers rack. Some of the cookie jars, such as the cars, the fishing ones, the gas pump, and other "manly" representations went out into Martin's "man cave" on a long shelf above the pool table. Like I said, each jar has a special meaning. My grandchildren and other loved ones who love to look at my cookie jars have often remarked, "Gosh Nana, what are you going to do with all of them?" I got the wonderful idea to have each child choose a cookie jar for a wedding gift for when they later marry. They love that idea, and I am covered on wedding gifts for a very long time. So, to get back to the statement, Martin is so sweet, let me tell you what he did for me. I found that cookie jars were beginning to overtake us. My dining room table was becoming covered, and I found I had to juggle the space in the curio cabinets to store them all. I had recently been given a really fabulous squirrel on a stump and had found a "thinking puppy" jar. Although I love each jar, I don't like to have them just placed helter-skelter because I want them displayed to their best and I don't want them to get broken. Yesterday, he called me out to the garage. To my extreme delight, he had built yet another 13 ft shelf for my cookie jars. We put it up over the window in the living room, and were able to place 23 lovely jars on it. There is even space for two more, but I will see what happens. See, Martin gets it. He knows that the cookie jars are more than just "dust collectors". I get such joy when company comes and takes pleasure in recognizing a jar that their grandmother had, or a cartoon character from their childhood. It is wonderful just to sit and look at the cookie jars, and bask in the memories that each represent. Please come and see for yourself. I think you too, will enjoy visiting my cookie jars. I am not as compulsive as I once was over cookie jars, indeed, the ones I get now are gifts or something really special. On mother's day, Martin gave me a lovely rhineocerous covered with flowers. He paid a couple of dollars for it in a thrift store, but to his surprise and my delight, I had the fabulous opportunity to tell him that in the collectors book of cookie jars, the price should have been over 200.00! I really love that rhineocerous! Well, you may wonder how I can have a cookie jar craving and still be an Ant. Like I said, I have really cut down on buying them, and they seem to come from others who know how much I love them. There is one cookie jar and he is called "Smiley Pig". He is very collectable, and VERY expensive. He was very popular during the first part of the 20th century. Usually he is priced starting in the mid-200.oo range going all the way up to a few thousands of dollars. I will find him somewhere like a thrift store or garage sale, and it will be all the sweeter because I will pay very little for him. You wait and see if I don't! Meanwhile, I will love and enjoy all the cookie jars I have now, and surround myself in cookie jar joy. Oh, did I tell you how many I have? Last count, 186! Love, Nanasee

Catching up!

First of all, let me catch up on some of the recent happenings. Martin continues to be ill, but is trying so hard to live life to the fullest in spite of it. It breaks my heart to see him cough so hard, to be bent over double trying to catch his breath. At night he wakes in a panic thinking he is going to smother. On those nights, I wake too, and sit and talk with him and try to calm him down. Sometimes I rub his feet, get him some water and tell him funny stories. We always pray together. Sometimes I just listen to him as he pours out his fears for the future. I just want to snatch him up and remind him that in spite of difficulties in the past, we have always had a wonderful life and that is not going to change now! He is so frightened, but in spite of that, he puts on a brave demeanor for the family and especially the grandchildren. I am the only one that is allowed to see into his heart, to feel his anguish. He is afraid that he will let me down. He is so worried about his grandchildren, that maybe he won't be able to be the PaPa that they know and love. For 39 years, I have had the privilege of looking into his grass-green eyes, most of the time seeing humor, sometimes anger and frustration, on two occasions the unconquerable grief, but never this kind of fear. Those green eyes that I love so much are touched with thoughts of defeat. I will not let defeat overcome my Honeybun, I will stand strong and be the reason that he will once again have mostly humor shining from those beloved eyes.
Martin wants to return to his job. At this time, we are having difficulty getting them to accomodate him so that he can return. The college should clean up the mold that is the problem. It is making him sick when he is at work. I will not give up on this either. He has been an exemplary instructor for almost 19 years, and the students are constantly asking when he will return. He deserves to be able to return to what he loves, and that is teaching automotive instruction to young people that want to be in his class. Right now, he is finally on summer break, but that will end in August, and hopefully be then, the college will have made some accomodations so that he can return to his job. Then again, there is me. As a friend of mine who has worked for the college for over 25 years said to me, "They don't know who they are dealing with, do they?" My answer to that is, "No, they don't". I am certainly not going to roll over and let them take something precious from my Honeybun. Besides, I enjoy knowing that there will once again be a paycheck coming in!
Another reason that I have been lax in writing, is that I had a mini-stroke 2 weeks ago. At this time, we still do not know why, but tests are pending. It happened while Martin and I were reading our scriptures. I had been having a headache for four days prior, and the evening before when I went to walmart to get some jewlery supplies I had difficulty seeing the tiny items in the packages. My vision was out of kilter, but I thought that it was because of my new glasses, (I have had them for 6 weeks, and this was the first time I had difficulty seeing). I didn't think a thing about it, but was more frustrated that I couldn't clearly see the items I needed. Well, while reading aloud, it became harder to see the letters, and my face on the left started to feel heavy and kind of numb. Then the feeling went to my shoulder, and down my left arm. I thought that it was something that would pass, but Martin remarked that my left side of my face looked funny. I asked him for some water, but could not swallow and the water ran out of my mouth. Martin called 911 and when they got to me, I was immediatly told that I was having a stroke. I wanted to argue with them, but my words were slurred. After about 40 minutes, the symptoms began to receed. At the hospital,they rushed me through tests and blood work, and found that my heart was fine. The final diagnosis was a Temporary Ischemic Attack, or a mini-stroke. I stayed one day in the hospital, where I was treated like a queen, and came home with orders to rest for two weeks. I received some lovely flowers and lots of love from so many. The only thing left of my very scary adventure is that my left arm is weak and still has an ache to it and embarrassingly, I have a little problem with drooling. (I bought some pretty hankies for that).
I am better able to type now, so hopefully, I will not be so remiss at writing.
Learning to become an Ant has been the most enlightening experience of my whole life. Everything has changed, but I swear, to the better. I will relate more of that to you in my next blog. I love writing, it is so helpful to me, just as when Bobbie Jo was so sick, and gives me an outlet for my thoughts. Thanks for sharing that with me. Love, Nanasee