BIRTHDAY CAKE

IT'S FUNNY THAT I AM BLOGGING THE NEXT DAY ABOUT THE DAY BEFORE, BUT IT SEEMS TO BE EASIER FOR ME WITH ALL THE COMMOTION. ANYWAY, YESTERDAY, WAS SO MUCH FUN, IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT IT WAS THE DAY AFTER THE FUNERAL. I AM COMING TO BELIEVE THAT AT THIS TIME THERE ARE TWO PARTS OF ME, THE ONE THAT IS GRIEVING AND THE ONE THAT IS TRYING TO FIND LIFE AGAIN. THE ONE THAT IS TRYING TO FIND LIFE AGAIN, WENT TO BREAKFAST WITH LIBBIE AND AUNT CHERYL YESTERDAY MORNING, WE TALKED , ATE AND LAUGHED LIKE THREE WOMEN WHO JUST LOVE TO BE TOGETHER. THEN, WE WENT TO HOBBY LOBBY, AND AGAIN HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME. CHERYL IS MAKING BABY BLANKETS FOR LIBBIE- THE SPIRIT OF BOBBIE JO WAS THERE, I KNOW BECAUSE I KEPT THINKING THAT WE SHOULD HURRY, (BOBBIE JO HATES HOBBY LOBBY AND ALWAYS HURRIED ME OUT OF THERE), AND THEN I REALIZED I DID NOT HAVE TO HURRY, BECAUSE I WAS THERE WITH MY LOVED ONES WHO LOVE HOBBY LOBBY. CONFUSING? NOW YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ABOUT BEING TWO PEOPLE RIGHT NOW. WE THEN WENT AND BOUGHT A BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR DAD MARTIN, AND TWO NUMBER 5 CANDLES FOR IT. LATER, THE MEN (DAD MARTIN, RUSTY, LIBBIE'S HUSBAND AND DAVID, CHERYL'S SON) CAME HOME FROM A DAY LONG FISHING TRIP. ACTUALLY, THEY ASKED US TO MEET THEM FOR DINNER, (COINCIDENTALLY AT THE SAME RESTAURANT WE HAD EATEN BREAKFAST AT), AND SO OFF WE WENT AGAIN. SUDDENLY, I WAS JUST SO SAD, AND STARTED TO CRY. THE GRIEF WAS SO DEEP, SO RAW, AND I FELT THE TEARS COMING FROM AS DEEP AS MY TOES. I COULDN'T STOP. THE WORLD DID NOT EXIST ANY MORE FOR ME, JUST THE PAIN. THE OTHER WOMAN WAS OUT. THE WOMEN WERE WORRIED FOR ME, BUT I JUST KEPT SOBBING," I WILL BE OKAY" OVER AND OVER. FINALLY, WHEN WE GOT TO THE RESTAURANT, I PULLED IT TOGETHER. THE FUN LADY TRIED TO COME OUT, BUT SHE WAS JUST AN ACT. THE GRIEF LADY WAS IN CONTROL. NO TEARS, BUT ROBOTIC RESPONSES. THEN, WE HAD TO GO AND BLOW OUT BIRTHDAY CANDLES AT JESSICAS HOUSE. NOW, GRIEF LADY TOOK FULL CONTROL, BUT NOT OUTWARD SOBBING, JUST QUIET HMMPHING,OVER AND OVER. I DID NOT KNOW HOW MANY TEARS I COULD SHED. JUST COPIOUS AMOUNTS, SOAKING PAPER TOWELS ONE AFTER THE OTHER. I COULD NOT HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY WITHOUT BOBBIE JO. SOMEONE HAD TO GRIPE ABOUT HOW THE ICE CREAM SHOULD BE SERVED. AND "WHO BOUGHT A CAKE? I MEAN SERIOUSLY? A BOUGHT CAKE?" THAT WOULD BE SACRILIGE IN HER MIND FOR SURE. OH GOSH, THERE IS MUCH I WILL HAVE TO GET USED TO, BUT I HOPE GRIEF LADY IS SHORT LIVED. I HAVE ONLY TO PICK UP THE PHONE TO GET LOVE AND HELP. STILL, WHERE IS THAT SKINNY GRIPING VIRAGO THAT WAS SUCH A PART OF ALL OF OUR LIVES? OH AND THE SAME SKINNY GRIPING VIRAGO THAT MADE SURE THAT EVERYONE HAD COOKIES AT THE GAME, OR THAT THE NEIGHBORS WERE FED IF NEEDED? THIS MORNING, HAPPY WOMAN IS OUT. I AM GOING TO SPEND THE DAY WITH BECKY. SHE TOOK THE DAY OFF BECAUSE SHE WAS WORRIED WHEN GRIEF LADY WAS OUT LAST NIGHT. WE ARE GOING ON A ROAD TRIP FOR THE DAY. WATCH THE MILES GO BY, AND SEE THE BLUEBONNETS. DO WHATEVER WE WANT. I AM LEAVING GRIEF LADY AT HOME. GRIEF LADY CAN GO TO JIMENY CRICKET FOR ALL I CARE. I HOPE I NEVER SEE HER AGAIN, UNFORTUNATELY, I AM SURE SHE WILL TRY TO PEEK THROUGH, BUT I FOUND THAT WITH PRAYER LAST NIGHT, I WAS ABLE TO BANISH HER- AND EVEN ATE A PIECE OF BIRTHDAY CAKE! (A CORNER PIECE OF COURSE, WITH LOTS OF CORNER ICING!) THAT IS THE ANSWER YOU KNOW, PRAYER. CALL UPON THE SPIRIT TO OVERCOME GRIEF LADY. SHE WILL NOT SUCCEED IN MAKING MY BEAUTIFUL LIFE BLEAK. IT IS SPRING, IT IS A NEW DAY, THERE IS LOVE, THERE IS DEVOTION, THERE IS FAMILY AND THERE ARE LOVING FRIENDS. I AM SORRY GRIEF LADY, YOU HAVE NO PART IN THAT WONDERFUL LIFE, LOVE, NANASEE