TRUE LOVE

TODAY I WITNESSED SOMETHING THAT WILL BE FOREVER BRANDED IN MY MIND. BOBBIE JO IS SO WEAK NOW, THAT SHE IS UNABLE TO SUCK THROUGH A STRAW AND CANNOT SWALLOW WITHOUT ONE. HER PRECIOUS MARTIN BEGAN TO DRAW LIQUIDS THROUGH A STRAW AND THEN GENTLY PUT THE LIQUIDS IN HER MOUTH. HE DOES THIS WITHOUT END, EACH TIME SHE ASKS FOR A DRINK. IT IS THE SWEETEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. HE IS SO TENDER WITH HER. HE SITS NEXT TO HER FOR HOURS, AND WAKES HER UP WHEN HE CAN, JUST SO SHE CAN SEE THAT HE IS CLOSE. HE'LL SAY, "OPEN YOUR EYE AND LOOK AT SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU". THEN HE WILL TELL HER TO GIVE HIM A KISS, AND SHE WILL TRY TO PURSE HER LIPS. HE TOUCHES HER ARMS AND FACE, STROKING HER AND TELLING HER HE LOVES HER "MORE THAN THE SUN SHINES" OR "MORE THAN THE BIRDS SING". I AM SO SAD THAT THEY ARE BEING PARTED. I SPENT THE DAY, SITTING AND WATCHING HER SLEEP. I AM WORKING ON A LITTLE STITICHING WHILE IS SIT THERE, AND ONCE IN AWHILE SHE WILL LOOK AT ME AND SAY, "WHO IS THAT?" LOOKING AT THE FOOT OF THE BED. I ASK, "WHERE SWEETIE?" SHE WILL SAY, "THERE" POINTING AT THE FOOT OF THE BED. SHE SAYS THERE IS A MAN STANDING THERE. SOMETIMES SHE SAYS IT IS JESUS- THERE IS A PICTURE OF JESUS ON THE WALL ACROSS THE FOOT OF HER BED, PERHAPS THAT IS WHAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT. I DON'T KNOW WHO THE OTHER PERSON IS, PERHAPS IT IS HER BROTHER OTTO. THEY HAVE INCREASED HER MORPHINE TO 30 MGS NOW, AND I THINK SHE WILL BE PRETTY MUCH OUT OF IT FROM NOW ON. I WILL SPEND AS MUCH TIME AS POSSIBLE WITH HER NOW, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE THIS COLD. I DON'T WANT TO BE GONE IF SHE ASKS FOR ME. I HAD A FUNNY MEMORY TODAY OF BOBBIE JO, I GUESS IT IS BECAUSE I WAS LOOKING AT AN AQUARIUM- WHEN SHE WAS ABOUT 18 MONTHS OLD, WE HAD A SMALL AQUARIUM THAT I KEPT ON A LOW TABLE. I HEARD HER LAUGHING AND GIGGLING, AND WENT IN TO FIND HER SITTING IN THE AQUARIUM IN HER DIAPER. I TOOK HER OUT, SET HER ON A TOWEL AND CLEANED UP THE WATER SHE HAD SPLASHED ON THE FLOOR. SHE JUST KEPT GIGGLING AND SQUEALING, AND I THOUGHT, "SHE MUST REALLY HAVE HAD A GOOD TIME IN THE AQUARIUM". AFTER I CLEANED UP THE MESS, I FINALLY PICKED HER UP AND TOOK HER TO THE ROOM, SOAKING DIAPER AND ALL. I SET HER IN THE TUB, (I USED CLOTH DIAPERS THEN) AND UNPINNED THE DIAPER. GUESS WHAT! THERE WAS A GOLDFISH WIGGLING AWAY IN HER DIAPER! NO WONDER SHE WAS SO TICKLED! I AM CRYING AS I WRITE THIS. I AM TIRED, WORRIED, SAD AND FRUSTRATED. THE CAT JUST KNOCKED OVER A GLASS OF WATER AND A JUNE BUG JUST FLEW INTO MY FACE. TODAY, WHEN I GOT HOME, BUSTER, WHO HAS NEVER EVER WET IN THE HOUSE, JUST PEED A GALLON ON MY CARPET RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. MARTIN IS GETTING IMPATIENT WITH ME, (DAD MARTIN) BUT HE DOESNT MEAN TO. HE MISSES MY HOME COOKING. I TOO, AM SICK OF EATING OUT. MY NOSE IS RUNNING AND MY THROAT HURTS, ALONG WITH A POUNDING HEADACHE. BOY IS AM SUCH A BABY, WHINING ABOUT LITTE STUFF LIKE THIS, WHEN BOBBIE JO CAN'T WHINE AT ALL. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT MY LIFE WILL BE LIKE AFTER THIS IS ALL OVER. I CAN'T IMAGINE JUST BEING NANA AGAIN. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE IS RIGHT NOW. SNIFF, SNIFF- LET ME GET OVER THIS PITY PARTY- THERE IS TOO MUCH TO DO TO FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF. IT WILL BE ALRIGHT, I KNOW IT WILL. TILL TOMORROW, LOVE, NANASEE