I AM NOT ALONE

TODAY, I WAS TRYING TO GET BOBBIE JO INTO A HOSPICE FACILITY, AND IT SEEMED THAT WE WOULD HAVE TO GO WAY OUT ON THE KATY FREEWAY TO FIND ONE. HOUSTON HOSPICE IS RIGHT NEXT TO MD ANDERSON WHERE BOBBIE JO IS, BUT THERE IS A WAITING LIST. THERE ARE 6 PEOPLE WAITING TO GET IN, AND THAT IS PROBABLY MORE TIME THAN WE HAVE. THE ONE OUT ON KATY SAID THEY HAD SEVERAL ROOMS WITH THOSE WAITING TO PASS ON, BUT GIVE THEM A DAY AND THEY SHOULD CLEAR OUT. (HMMM, NOT THE ATTITUDE I WANT FOR MY GIRL). MY BROTHER KEN IS A CASE MANAGER AT CLEAR LAKE REGIONAL HOSPITAL, AND I ASKED HIM FOR HELP. OF COURSE HE CAME THROUGH WITH FLYING COLORS. HE WAS ABLE TO GET BOBBIE JO INTO A BEAUTIFUL FACILITY RIGHT HERE CLOSE TO HOME. SHE IS GOING IN WITH NO CHARGE- A MIRACLE IN ITSELF. AS I SAT THERE FILLING OUT A MOUNTAIN OF PAPERWORK, I FELT THE SPIRIT TELLING ME THAT I AM NOT ALONE, AND HEAVENLY FATHER KNOWS EXACTLY W HAT I AM GOING THROUGH. IT IS AS IF HE IS SAYING, "LITTLE DAUGHTER, THIS IS A TERRIBLE TIME FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. I WILL GUIDE YOU THROUGH IT AND MAKE THINGS AS EASY AS POSSIBLE. YOUR CHILD WILL HAVE THE BEST CARE, THAT IS A GIFT FROM ME. THERE IS MUCH FOR HER TO LEARN, AND WHILE SHE IS LEARNING, YOU ARE SUFFERING. I AM WITH YOU. I WILL SEND YOU WHAT YOU NEED. HAVE PEACE AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD." AND WHILE I AM CHOKING BACK THE TEARS, (ONCE I EVEN SLAPPED THE CRAP OUT OF MYSELF TO TAKE MY MIND OFF OF CRYING), AND TRYING TO TAKE MY MIND TO A BETTER PLACE- I REALIZE THE TIME IS SO VERY SHORT WHEN I WILL FULLY REALIZE THAT BOBBIE JO WILL NOT COME BUSTING IN THE BACK DOOR, OR TELLING ME "DON'T EAT THAT" OR "DON'T STRAIN YOUR VOICE"! SHE COULD BE SCREAMING ABOUT MY FEEDING BUSTER FROM THE TABLE ONE MINUTE A ND THE NEXT SAYING, "HERE, GIVE THIS TO BUSTER, BUT NOT FROM THE TABLE!" OTHER THINGS I HEARD ON A DAILY BASIS ARE, "DID YOU TAKE YOUR MEDS", I SWEAR, I HAVE TO REMIND YOU ABOUT EVERYTHING! MOM, BUY THE BIG BAG OF HALLOWEEN CANDY, YOU KNOW THERE ARE KIDS WHO COME BACK SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU ARE A SUCKER FOR THEM! OR, "MOM, I HAVE TO BAKE COOKIES FOR THE BASEBALL TEAM, CAN I BORROW SOME THINGS? I JUST NEED SOME FLOUR, SUGAR, BUTTER, CHOCOLATE CHIPS AND WALNUTS. I HAVE THE EGGS AND VANILLA. OH, AND GIVE ME EXTRA, BECAUSE EACH OF THE BOYS HAVE BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND WE CAN'T LEAVE THEM OUT!" HOW ABOUT, "GOOD GRIEF WOMAN, IS THAT THE BIGGEST TURKEY YOU CAN FIND? WHAT- DO YOU THINK WE ARE JUST FEEDING OUR FAMILY? WHAT ABOUT THAT FAMILY DOWN THE STREET, YOU KNOW THEY DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY FOR THANKSGIVING. LOOK, JUST BUY ANOTHER TURKEY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, HEAVENLY FATHER WILL BLESS YOU FOR IT." AND ON AND ON IT WENT. SO MANY TIMES, SHE WOULD SAY, "MOM, I KNOW OF SOMEONE WHO IS HAVING A BABY. CAN YOU CROCHET A BLANKET FOR THEM? SOMEONE ELSE NEEDED GROCERIES, THE KIDS AT THE PARK IN JULY ARE HOT AND THIRSTY, ONE OF THEM SCRAPED THEIR KNEE, ON AND ON. SHE DID NOT HESITATE TO FIND A SOLUTION TO THESE PROBLEMS. SHE GAVE ME MANY OPPORTUNITES FOR SERVICE. WE WILL CERTAINLY MISS THOSE MINISTRATIONS- I KNOW THAT JARED HAS LEARNED TO BE COMPASSIONATE AND CARING BECAUSE OF HIS MOM. NOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG, SHE HAD HER MOMENTS. ONE TIME, WE HAD THE MISSIONARIES OVER FOR LUNCH AND DAD HAD MADE CHILI DOGS. ONE OF THE MISSIONARIES SAID, HIS NOSE WRINKLED UP. "HOT DOGS?! WE ARE HAVING HOT DOGS?!!" BOY, SHE WHIPPED AROUND AND SAID, "MY DADDY MADE THOSE HOT DOGS!!!!" SHE WAS LIKE A HOT DOG VALKERIE- AND I THOUGHT THAT POOR MISSIONARY WAS GOING TO PASS OUT. HE STAMMERED, "UH, I I LLOVE HOT DOGS! I WAS JUST EXPRESSING MY JOY BECAUSE WE ARE HAVING HOT DOGS!!!" "WELL, I HOPE SO, 'CAUSE MY DADDY MADE THOSE HOT DOGS!" EVERYONE JUST LAUGHED AND LAUGHED. EVERYONE EXCEPT THE POOR MISSIONARY, HE JUST MOPPED HIS HEAD WITH A PAPER TOWEL, LOOKED AT BOBBIE JO AND SAID, "GIVE ME TWO PLEASE". YES, SHE HAS HER MOMENTS. TOMORROW, I WILL GO WITH HER TO CHECK IN AT THE HOSPICE FACILITY. IT IS A LOVELY RED BRICK BUILDING WITH STAINED GLASS WINDOWS AND DOORS AND SO PEACEFUL INSIDE. THE STAFF WERE WONDERFUL. I HAVE EVERY CONFIDENCE THAT THIS IS THE BLESSING NEEDED TO MAKE HER PASSING PEACEFUL.
NOW, READERS, A THOUGHT HAS COME TO ME. I THINK THAT BOBBIE JO WANTED MORE THAN ANYTHING TO MAKE SURE THAT JAYBIRD WILL HAVE EVERYTHING HE WILL NEED. THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM, AS HIS DAD OWEN AND STEP-MOM MARIE LOVE HIM AND WILL PROVIDE WELL FOR HIM. DON'T FORGET ABOUT PAPA, NANA AND AUNT PEANUT, UNCLE ROBBY AND SISSYAND UNCLE AARON AND SARAH. HE WON'T NEED FOR MATERIAL THINGS, HOWEVER HE TALKS ALL THE TIME ABOUT ATTENDING THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS WHEN HE GROWS UP. I AM GOING TO TAKE THE BOBBIE JO MIRACLE FUND AND START A COLLEGE FUND FOR HIM. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO, THINK ABOUT INSTEAD OF FLOWERS, MAKING A DONATION TO THIS FUND FOR HIS FUTURE. ONLY IF YOU WANT TO, BUT IT WOULD GO A LONG WAY TO ALLOWING HIM TO ACHIEVE HIS DREAM. HE IS A WONDERFUL CHILD, AND WILL BE AN OUTSTANDING ADULT, WITH MUCH TO GIVE. THANKS FOR YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS. LOVE, NANA