ANOTHER MONDAY

WELL, AS I SAID YESTERDAY, I AM SURE HAPPY TO SAY "ANOTHER MONDAY". I WAS AWAKE ALL LAST NIGHT WAITING FOR THE PHONE TO RING WITH NEWS OF BOBBIE JO. EVERY TIME THE PHONE RINGS, (MINE, HOUSE, MARTIN'S) I JUMP OUT OF MY SKIN. I LOOK AT THE NAME OF THE PERSON CALLING AND IF IT IS BMARTIN OR DAD, I GET SICK TO MY STOMACH. I ANSWER TENTATIVELY, AFRAID OF THE NEWS. EVERY TIME THOUGHT IT IS, "SAY WHEN YOU COME, BRING ME A ------, OR WHERE IS THE -------, OR DO YOU HAVE THE -------?" ALRIGHT ALREADY, MY HEART CAN ONLY STAND SO MUCH! INDEED, I AM A NERVOUS WRECK! I CAN'T STAND NOT KNOWING WHEN BOBBIE JO WILL LEAVE US- I SHOULD BE BEGGING FOR MORE TIME, BUT I CAN'T BEAR WATCHING HER JUST LIE THERE AND, OF COURSE, BEING SO POSITIVE. I KNOW THAT ONE DAY, HEAVENLY FATHER WILL SLAP MY NOSE FOR HANDLING THIS SO BADLY! SO, DAD MARTIN LEFT WITHOUT ME THIS MORNING, AND I HAD TO GET A RIDE TO HOSPICE LATER. I WAS ALREADY EXHAUSTED FROM BEING AWAKE ALL NIGHT, AND NOW I HAVE TO GO IN AND WAIT FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN. AFTER I GOT THERE, DAD MARTIN WENT TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT, AND BMARTIN CAME IN FROM WORK. SO NOW, IT IS JUST BMARTIN AND I, SITTING A WATCHING BOBBIE JO. AFTER A LONG WHILE, I GURSS SHE WAS ASLEEP, SHE OPENED HER GOOD EY AND WHISPERED, "MAMA, CAN YOU SING THAT SONG ABOUT THE LADY THAT SWALLOWED THE FLY"? SO, I BEGAN TO SING AS BEST I COULD WITH THE VOICE I HAVE. I QUIETLY SANG ALL SEVEN VERSES, AND SHE FELL BACK ASLEEP WHILE I WAS SINGING-(PROBABLY A MERCY FOR HER!) THEN I STARTED A LONG RENDITION OF ANOHTER SONG SHE LIKED AS A CHILD, AND THAT ONE HAS 11 VERSES. SHE LOOKED SO PEACEFUL, AND MARTIN AND I REALIZED SHE WAS IN A DEEP SLEEP. WE BEGAN TO WATCH HER BREATH, AND ALSO REALIZED THAT SHE WAS REALLY TAKING A LONG TIME BETWEEN BREATHS. WE BECAME SLIGHTLY ALARMED, AND BEGAN COUNTING SECONDS BETWEEN BREATHS, SOME OF THEM AS MUCH AS 10 SECONDS BETWEEN INSPIRATIONS. WITH CONCERNED AND PANICKED LOOKS BETWEEN US, THE COMBINED THOUGT WAS, "OH NO, COULD THIS BE IT?" AFTER A BIT, WITH BOTH OF US WATCHING EVERY BREATH, HARDLY DARING TO BREATH OURSELVES, IT HAPPENED- SHE STOPPED BREATHING, HER HEAD DROOPED TO HER CHEST AND HER MOUTH FELL SLACK. WE JUMPED UP PRACTICALLY CRACKING OUR HEADS TOGETHER TO GET A BETTER LOOK AT HER, AND SUDDENLY SHE TOOK A BIG BREATH, OPENED HER GOOD EYE AND SHISPERED, "BOY, I'M THIRSTY!" BMARTIN AND I FELT LIKE A PAIR OF IDIOTS, AND THEN WE HAD IDIOTIC GRINS AND BEGAN SCRAMBLING AROUND TO GRAB A CUP OF SOMETHING. SHE WAS LIKE, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?" WE JUST STARTED LAUGHING, WE WERE SO RELIEVED. BUT SERIOUSLY, HER SYMPTOMS GROW MORE AND MORE TO HER END. SHE IS BREATHING UNEVENLY, HER TEMP GOES UP AND DOWN, BUT ALWAYS AT FEVER LEVEL, AND HER OXYGEN STATS GO UP AND DOWN, SOMETIMES CRITICALLY. WE JUST HAVE TO WAIT. IT IS SO HARD. I FEEL MY WORDS ARE INADEQUATE IN DESCRIPTION OF WHAT SHE IS GOING THROUGH, I COULD NEVER FULLY TELL YOU ALL OF IT. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE, AND AS THE DAYS CONTINUE, EVEN AFTER SHE HAS PASSED OVER, I WILL DO MY BEST TO WRITE AS I REMEMBER. I AM HOME TONIGHT, ALONE EXCEPT FOR LUCKY AND BUSTER. THEY ARE MY SWEET COMPANIONS, NEVER EXPECTING ANYTHING AND ALWAYS OFFERING COMFORT AND LOVE. I WALKED INTO THE HOUSE THE OTHER DAY, (MOST OF YOU KNOW IT IS STILL UNCOMPLETED AFTER HURRICANE IKE) AND ENTERED THE ROOM THAT I WAS GOING TO DECORATE FOR BOBBIE JO. THEN, IT WAS A BLANK CANVAS, WAITING FOR MY TOUCH TO BRING IT TO LIFE AS THE PLACE WHERE BOBBIE JO WOULD GET WELL. NOW, IT IS JUST A CREVASS, EMPTY AND LIFELESS, AND MOCKING ME. THE EEYORE BED SET I SENT HOME TO MY SWEET GRANDDAUGHTERS. THE WALLS ARE STILL WHITE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT COLOR TO PAINT THEM. THERE IS A TRELLIS OUTSIDE OF THE THE WINDOW THAT NOW HAS WILTED FLOWERS FROM LAST YEAR, BUT I WAS GOING TO PLANT NEW ONES THAT SHE COULD LOOK OUT ON EACH DAY. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT NOW, OR EVEN WHICH KIND TO PLANT. ASHLEY WAS GOING TO HELP ME PAINT A RAINBOW ON THE WALL WITH A SAYING UNDERNEATH THAT SAID," AFTER THE RAIN COMES THE RAINBOW." IT IS STILL RAINING. THE ROOM WILL HAVE TO BE A GUEST ROOM- I ALWAYS WANTED A GUEST ROOM, BUT NOT AT THIS COST. SO MUCH WILL BE DIFFERENT. I ENVY THOSE TO WHOM BOBBIE JO IS GOING. THEY WILL HAVE SO MUCH JOY HAVING HER THERE WITH THEM. SHE WILL BE SO WONDERFUL TO BABY MATTHEW, MY PRECIOUS GRANDSON WHO WAS SENT HOME AS A STILLBORN INFANT. SHE AND GRANNY LOLA WILL BE MAKING HEAVENLY PIES, (AND I AM NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT THE TASTE EITHER)- AND OTTO WILL ONCE AGAIN GET THE CHANCE TO PLAY PRANKS ON HER. LIFE DOES GO ON, IT IS ETERNAL THANKS TO THE SACRIFICE OF THE ATONEMENT GIVEN BY OUR BROTHER JESUS CHRIST. DEATH WILL HAVE NO STING FOR US, BUT WE WILL WISH WE STILL HAD BOBBIE JO HERE. LOVE, NANASEE