IT IS STILL RAINING! WHERE IS THE RAINBOW?

SO, NOW I HAD A TRACHEOSTOMY AND WOULD HAVE IT FOR LIFE. I LOOKED INSIDE MYSELF TO SEE WHERE THE WOMAN HAD GONE WHO WAS SO CONFIDENT, SO COCKY, SO SURE OF HERSELF. I HAD EVERYTHING ANYONE COULD EVER WANT, MY LOVING HUSBAND, MY CHILDREN, A GRANDSON AND OTHER FAMILY AND LOVING FRIENDS. I HAD A LOVELY HOME IN SEABROOK, NEAR THE WATER, COULD FISH WHENEVER I WANTED, A GOOD INCOME AS MARTIN HAD JOB SECURITY, THE GOSPEL, JUST EVERYTHING. THE ONLY WRINKLE IN THE COTTON WAS A LITTLE TUBE IN MY NECK THAT I DEPENDED ON FOR LIFE. I WAS BEING SOMEWHAT OF A BABY ABOUT THAT- I HAD TO GET OVER IT! AARON HAD RETURNED FROM HIS MISSION IN MAY OF THAT YEAR, BEFORE THE TRACH, AND HE WAS LIVING WITH US. I LOVED HAVING HIM HOME SO VERY MUCH, I COULDN'T DO ENOUGH FOR HIM. HE IS SO LOVING AND HAS ALWAYS HONORED ME, AND I WANTED HIM TO BE HAPPY. WE ALSO HAD A PAIR OF GERMAN SHEPHERDS, ONE FEMALE AND ONE MALE. WE HAD HAD THE MALE SINCE JUST AFTER OTTO HAD DIED, AND THE FEMALE FOR ONLY A COUPLE OF YEARS. THE MALE'S NAME WAS RANGER, AND THE FEMALE NAME HEIDI. THEY WERE LIKE OUR CHILDREN, AND WE LOVED THEM VERY MUCH. RANGER WOULD GUARD THE HOUSE, CHECKING TO SEE IF EVERYONE WAS IN THEIR BEDS. IF NOT, HE WOULD COME AND WAKE ME. I CAN'T TELL YOU ENOUGH ABOUT HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO US. HE HAD HAD AN ACCIDENT AND HURT ONE OF HIS HIPS, AND WE WERE GOING TO HAVE TO GET SURGERY EVENTUALLY TO HELP HIM. THE COST WAS ASTOUNDING, BUT HE WAS WORTH IT. ONE DAY, IN SEPTEMBER, AARON HAD A FRIEND COME OVER, AND SHE LEFT THE GATE OPEN. I WAS IN THE HOUSE, AND HEARD SCREAMING, AND RAN OUTSIDE TO SEE THAT RANGER WAS OUT OF THE YARD AND HAVING A DOG FIGHT WITH 3 OTHER DOGS THAT A LADY WAS WALKING. I JUMPED INTO THE MIDDLE AND BROKE IT UP, SENDING RANGER BACK INTO THE YARD. THE LADY WAS SCREAMING AND SWEARING AT ME, AND I WAS TRYING TO SEE IF SHE WAS HURT. SHE WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME AND STARTED OFF DOWN THE STREET SCREAMING THAT SHE WAS CALLING THE POLICE. I WAS SO UPSET, THAT I COLLAPSED ON THE LAWN, SHAKING AND IN TEARS. BY THEN, MARTIN AND THE FAMILY HAD COME AND SEEN THE TROUBLE. HE HELPED ME UP AND INTO THE HOUSE, BUT ALL I COULD DO WAS SOB AND SHAKE. I WAS SO FRIGHTENED. THE POLICE CAME AND I TOLD THEM WHAT HAD HAPPENED. THEY TOOK A REPORT AND LEFT, TELLING ME TO KEEP RANGER LOCKED UP. THE NEXT DAY, THE ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER CAME AND TOOK HIS REPORT. HE THEN TOLD US THAT THERE WOULD BE A HUGE FINE, WE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE RANGER EXAMINED FOR RABIES, (THE WOMAN HAD SUSTAINED A SCRATCH ON HER ARM) AND WOULD HAVE TO DECLARE RANGER A DANGEROUS ANIMAL. WE WOULD HAVE TO GET A BOND FOR 100,000.00 TOO. IT WAS ALL TOO MUCH. I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT, I JUST HAD THEM TAKE RANGER TO PUT HIM DOWN. MY MIND WAS SO WEARY DUE TO ALL THE DIFFICULTIES OVER THE YEAR, AND THAT WAS THE STRAW THAT BROKE ME. MARTIN AGREED WITH ME, AND WE HAD RANGER EUTHANIZED. HEIDI WENT TO LIVE WITH ANOTHER RELATIVE. THEN WE GOT A NOTICE THAT SHE WAS SUING US. WE HAD HOMEOWNERS INSURANCE THAT COVERED IT, BUT I NEVER DID HEAR WHAT HAPPENED. FOR SOME REASON, IT SEEMS THAT IT NEVER WENT ANYWHERE. I LATER FOUND OUT THAT SHE HAD SUED OTHER NEIGHBORS UNDER JUST THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES. I WAS JUST SICK WITH SADNESS, WHY WAS SO MUCH HAPPENING TO US? WE WERE GOOD PEOPLE, AND FOR A WHILE, I COULD NOT SEE MY BLESSINGS AT ALL. THEN, LITTLE BY LITTLE, THE SUN BEGAN TO COME OUT FOR PEEPS AT A TIME. AARON MET A LOVELY GIRL AND FELL IN LOVE, JESSICA HAD BEEN PLANNING HER WEDDING TO ROBBY. BOBBIE JO HAD JARED AND OWEN, AND PEANUT WAS DOING WELL. MARTIN AND I HAD SUCH A DEEP LOVE, WE, AS USUAL, STOOD AS ONE. I WAS BECOMING STONGER. HALLOWEEN SOON CAME, AND I MADE JARED'S LITTLE COSTUME. THE YEAR BEFORE HE HAD BEEN A TINY DALMATION, (OWEN IS A FIREFIGHTER) AND WE TOOK PICTURES OF HIM ON THE FIRE TRUCK. THIS YEAR, I MADE HIM A FLINTSTONES BAM-BAM COSTUME. THEY CAME OUT TO THE HOUSE, AND WENT TRICK-OR-TREATING, AND SOON IT WAS THANKSGIVING. WE HAD THEM OUT FOR THAT TOO, ALL THE FAMILY TOGETHER. THEN, CHRISTMAS. MARTIN AGAIN PLAYED SANTA CLAUSE FOR THE CHURCH, AND JARED WAS NOT AFRAID OF HIM. ON THE WAY HOME, WE WERE ALMOST KILLED BY A SEMI-TRUCK WITH JARED RIDING WITH US. BY THE GRACE OF GOD, THE TRUCK MISSED US, AND WE WERE OKAY. I WAS SHAKED FOR SOME TIME AS I REALIZED HOW CLOSE IT HAD BEEN. THEN CAME THE NEW YEAR. DURING ALL OF THIS TIME JESSICA WAS PLANNING A WEDDING FOR FEBRUARY 12TH, AND EXPECTED TO HAVE 300 GUESTS. THAT IS ALL I THOUGHT ABOUT AND WE WERE CONSTANTLY GOING TO GET READY. SHE HAD PURCHASED A LOVELY DRESS, AND A FEW DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING WE WERE TOLD THAT WHEN THEY WERE PRESSING IT, THE IRON BLEW AND BURNED HER DRESS. THE ONLY THING WE COULD DO THEN WAS TO TAKE THE MODEL DRESS AND USE THAT. WE HAD A HUGE BAR-B-QUE IN A LOVELY HALL. FINALLY THE BIG DAY CAME, WITH A LOVELY CEREMONY AND THEN OFF TO THE HALL TO HAVE THE RECEPTION. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE SHOCK OF LOOKING OUT OVER THE TABLES FILLED WITH OVER 300 PEOPLE, AND WONDERING IF I COULD POSSIBLY FEED THEM ALL. THERE WAS MUSIC, DANCING AND OF COURSE MARTIN'S BAR-B-QUE! WE SERVED AND SERVED. 30BRISKETS, 40 LBS OF SAUSAGE,LOTS OF CHICKEN, GALLONS OF COLE SLAW, BEANS POTATO SALAD, BREAD AND EXTRAS. WE EVEN HAD LEFT-OVERS! THEN THE HONEYMOONERS LEFT AMID A FLOURISH OF CORSAGE TOSSING AND WELL WISHES. YOU WOULD THINK THAT I COULD NOW STOP AND REST FOR A BIT, BUT ONLY A FEW DAYS BEFORE THIS, AARON AND HIS LOVELY SARAH HAD INFORMED ME THAT THEY WERE ALSO GOING TO HAVE THEIR WEDDING IN FEBRUARY. "GOOD," I TOLD THEM, "AT LEAST I HAVE ANOTHER YEAR BEFORE I GET TO DO THIS AGAIN!" AARON SAID, "NO MAMA, I MEAN THIS FEBRUARY. ON THE 26TH. YOU CAN DO IT, RIGHT?" I MUST HAVE LOOKED LIKE I HAD BEEN SLAPPED WITH A TUNA. BUT HE WAS SERIOUS, AND SO WE HUNKERED DOWN AND TO BOBBIE JO CREDIT, THREW TOGETHER A SMALL WEDDING THAT WAS VERY LOVELY ONLY TWO WEEKS AFTER THE HUGE ONE JESSICA AND ROBBY HAD HAD. FINALLY, SOME DOWN TIME! BUT, SURE ENOUGH, DOWN TIME IS SOMETHING THAT SEEMS TO ELUDE ME. IT WAS IN APRIL, THAT I HAD A CHECK-UP ONLY TO FIND THAT I HAD "A LITTLE SOMETHING" ON MY SCALP. THE SAMPLE TAKEN OF THE AREA SHOWED SKIN CANCER. IT WAS PRETTY SMALL, WE WOULD JUST TAKE IT OUT AND BE DONE WITH IT. BUT, WHEN THE SURGEON GOT INSIDE, THE CANCER HAD SPREAD UNDER THE SKIN, AND WAS QUITE LARGE. THIS WAS NOT MELANOMA, BUT ANOTHER KIND OF SKIN CANCER THAT IS NOT LIFE THREATENING IF REMOVED. THE SURGEON THOUGHT AT FIRST THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO REMOVE A LARGE PATCH OF MY SCALP AND DO PLASTIC SURGERY, AND THAT WOULD LEAVE ME BALD. BUT, I AWOKE FROM THE SURGERY WITH A TIGHTNESS IN MY FACE, AND FOUND THAT THE DOCTOR HAD BEEN ABLE TO STRETCH THE SKIN ON MY SCALP TO CLOSE THE WOUND, ONLY LEAVING A LONG SCAR ON TOP OF MY HEAD. HE TOLD ME I HAD BEEN GIVEN A COMPLIMENTARY FACE LIFT IN THE PROCESS, AND I TOLD HIM THAT IF HE HAD PULLED IT ANY TIGHTER I WOULD HAVE HAD A PERMANENT PAIR OF EARRINGS. (MEANING THAT MY BREASTS WERE ALMOST UP UNDER MY NECK, JUST KIDDING OF COURSE). THEN, I BEGAN TO HAVE TROUBLE BREATHING AGAIN, AND THEY FOUND THAT SCAR TISSUE HAD ALMOST CLOSED THE OPENING WHERE MY TRACH ENTERED MY LUNGS. MORE SURGERY. A LUMP IN MY LEG. SURGERY. NOW, ANOTHER TUMOR ON THE OTHER ADRENAL GLAND. LEAVE IT ALONE. SEVERAL LUMPS IN MY LUNGS AND KIDNEYS, ONE ON THE BONE IN MY LEFT ARM, ONE IN MY EYE. NONE OF THESE PROVED TO BE CANCEROUS BUT NUMEROUS MOLES THAT WERE CANCEROUS. TAKE THEM OFF. ALL OF THIS WITHIN A TWO YEAR PERIOD. IT WOULD TAKE A FEW MORE YEARS, BUT WE WOULD FINALLY FIND OUT WHY I GREW SO MANY BUMPS AND LUMPS. MY DOCTOR REFERRED TO ME AS AN "ALIEN". TOMORROW, I WILL TELL YOU OF AN ACCIDENTAL MEETING THAT CHANGED MY OUTLOOK. I TRULY AM BLESSED! LOVE, NANASEE