DINNER AT THE SEE'S

WE HAVE BEEN A FAMILY FOR MANY YEARS. OF COURSE FAMILIES HAVE DINNER TOGETHER. I HAVE A FEW MEMORIES ABOUT DINNER THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE. FIRST OF ALL, I AM A PRETTY GOOD COOK. USUALLY. HOWEVER, THERE HAVE BEEN INCIDENTS THAT WOULD BELY THAT STATEMENT. ONE TIME IN RELIEF SOCIETY, (THE LADIES ORGANIZATION AT MY CHURCH) A DEAR SISTER GAVE A DEMONSTRATION ON HOW TO COOK LIVER. I HATE LIVER. REALLY HATE IT. BUT, I AM A GOOD SPORT AND SO, I WENT TO THE CLASS. TO MY SURPRISE, THE LIVER SHE MADE WAS REALLY GOOD. IT WAS PAN FRIED WITH BACON STRIPSAND SMOTHERED WITH MUSHROOM SOUP. WOW, NOW I COULD GO HOME AND FIX LIVER FOR MY KIDS AND THEY WOULD ACTUALLY EAT IT! SO, THE NEXT DAY, I WENT AND BOUGHT SOME LIVER. DID YOU KNOW THAT ALL LIVER IS NOT THE SAME? WELL, I DIDN'T. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT KIND OF AN ANIMAL THAT LIVER CAME FROM, BUT, LIVER IS LIVER, RIGHT? ANYWAY, HOME I WENT AND BEGAN TO COOK. BOY, THAT LIVER BEGAN TO STINK UP THE KITCHEN. I PAN FRIED IT WITH THE BACON JUST LIKE I HAD LEARNED, BUT FOR SOME REASON, IT DIDN'T SMELL THE SAME. I ADDED MORE BACON. ONE OF THE BOYS CAME IN AND YELLED, "MOM, THE TOILET IS BACKED UP AGAIN!!" (SMART ALECK!) HMMM. WELL, I ADDED THE MUSHROOM SOUP, MAYBE THAT'S WHAT THE LIVER NEEDED. I MADE SOME MASHED POTATOES AND GREEN BEANS AND PUT OUT SOME COLD APPLE SAUCE. FINALLY, A LOVELY DINNER WAS SET ON THE TABLE, AND I CALLED THE KIDS. P-EWWW! WHAT STINKS! THEY COMPLAINED. "YOU BE QUIET, AND SIT DOWN AND EAT. I HAVE MADE YOU A SURPRISE AND YOU WILL REALLY LIKE IT!" I TOLD THEM. WITH DUBIOUS FACES, THEY SAT DOWN. "MOM, DID YOU FIX THE TOILET? I STILL SMELL IT"SAID AARON. "ME TOO" SAID ONE OF THE GIRLS. "DON'T WORRY, DADDY WILL FIX IT" SAID ANOTHER. "ENOUGH OF THE TOILET!" I TOLD THEM. "EAT!!!" THEY WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WAS ON THEIR PLATES. "WELL, WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?" I SAID. JESSICA SAID, "I WOULD TELL YOU WHAT I THINK IT LOOKS LIKE, BUT YOU WOULD SLAP MY MOUTH!" "OKAY, ENOUGH! WATCH ME, IT IS REALLY GOOD. I LEARNED TO MAKE IT AT RELIEF SOCIETY LAST NIGHT!" AND I TOOK A BIG BITE. LET ME TELL YOU, THAT WAS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER TASTED! GOOD HEAVENS, I JUST SPIT IT OUT RIGHT ONTO MY PLATE!!! THE KIDS WERE WISE ENOUGH TO KEEP QUIET AND JUST STARED AT ME. I GLARED BACK AT THEM, AND THEN, BEGAN TO SEE THE HUMOR IN THE SITUATION. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO TO MY KIDS IF THEY REFUSED TO EAT MY GOOD COOKING?" I GROWLED, AND THEY LOOKED BACK AND FORTH AT EACH OTHER NERVOUSLY. "WELL, DO YOU?" I ROARED. "NNNOOO,"WHIMPERED BECKY. "I TAKE THE TO MCDONALDS!!!" I YELLED, AND GRABBED THE CLOSEST ONE AND GAVE THEM A SMACKING KISS. "THAT STUFF TASTES LIKE CRAP, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO EAT IT" I TOLD THEM. AARON SAID, "I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT, LEAVE IT IN THE FRIDGE, AND DADDY WILL THINK IT IS STEAK AND GRAVY. WE'LL KNOW WHEN HE GETS INTO IT WHEN WE HEAR HIM YELLING!" WE ALL LAUGHED, CLEANED UP THE DISHES AND OUT TO MCDONALDS WE WENT. THE KIDS STILL TEASE ME ABOUT LIVER, AND THAT AWFUL DINNER. ANOTHER TIME, I WANTED TO HAVE A ROMANTIC MEAL WITH MARTIN. I WENT AND BOUGHT A FLOUNDER (FISH) FROM THE BUTCHER AND HAD IT'S HEAD CUT OFF. I TOOK IT HOME, SEASONED IT AND PUT IT INTO A PAN WITH LOTS OF BUTTER. I BROILED IT JUST LIKE THE RECIPE SAID TO, AND SET A PRETTY TABLE FOR US. HE CAME IN AND WHISTLED. " BOY, THAT LOOKS SO GOOD" HE SAID. " I DIDN'T KNOW YOU KNEW HOW TO COOK A FLOUNDER".. "WELL, IT WAS NOT HARD" I TOLD HIM, "I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!" HE DID TOO, UNTIL HE FOUND A HORRIBLE SURPRISE. THE INSIDE OF THE FISH HAD SOME OTHER LITTLE FISH AND A SHRIMP IN IT'S STOMACH. "SWEETIE, DID YOU CLEAN THIS FISH BEFORE YOU COOKED IT?" HE ASKED KINDLY. "NO, BUT THE BUTCHER DID. HE CUT IT'S HEAD OFF FOR ME" I TOLD HIM. "SWEETIE, DON'T YOU KNOW THERE IS MORE TO CLEANING A FISH THAN CUTTING OFF IT'S HEAD?" HE ASKED, STILL KINDLY. "UH, NO, I GUESS I THOUGHT THE BUTCHER DID IT". WELL, OBVIOUSLY NOT, SINCE THERE IN A STINKING PILE WERE THE REMAINS OF THE FLOUNDERS LAST SUPPER. I WAS SO UPSET, I BEGAN TO CRY. MY DINNER WAS RUINED. MARTIN PUT HIS ARMS AROUND ME AND KISSED ME ON TOP OF MY HEAD. "DO WE HAVE AND FISH STICKS?" HE ASKED. WE DID, AND HAD OUR SEAFOOD DINNER AFTER ALL, THANKS TO THE GORTONS FISHERMAN. OTHER DINNERS HAD OTHER CONSEQUENCES. ONE LOVELY EVENING, WE HAD A CHURCH SUPPER. I HAD SIGNED UP TO BRING A VEGETABLE AND A DESSERT. AS USUAL WE WERE RUNNING LATE, SO I JUMPED OUT OF THE TRUCK, GRABBED THE DESSERT AND TOLD THE KIDS TO GET THE VEGETABLE, WHICH WAS A LARGE BOWL OF GREEN PEAS. A BIT LATER, I NOTICED THAT MY PEAS WERE NOT ON THE SERVING TABLE. I ASKED MARTIN WHERE THEY WERE, AND HE SAID HE DIDN'T KNOW. HE WENT OUT AND CAME BACK AND SAID THAT OTTO HAD BROUGHT THEM IN. THEY WERE IN THE KITCHEN. I WENT TO GET THE BOWL, AND THOUGHT IT WAS STRANGE THAT THEIR SEEMED TO ONLY BE ABOUT HALF OF WHAT I HAD BROUGHT. I FIGURED THAT MY GOOD COOKING COULD NOT BE WAITED FOR AND SOMEONE HAD SNITCHED THEM BEFOREHAND. WELL, WE WENT ON EATING, AND ONE OF THE MEN IN THE WARD CAME IN SAYING, "DID YOU HEAR WHAT HAPPENED? SOMEONE THREW A MESS OF GREEN PEAS INTO BROTHER RAIFORD'S BRAND NEW MERCEDES! THE WHOLE FRONT SEAT IS A MESS AND THEY ARE ON THE WINDSHIELD TOO!" I THOUGHT IN PANIC, "SOMEONE THREW GREEN PEANS INTO A NEW CAR? WHO ELSE BROUGHT GREEN PEAS BUT ME?" THEN, I SAW OTTO'S LITTLE FACE. HE WAS VERY NERVOUS. I QUIETLY TOOK HIM INTO THE KITCHEN AND HE BEGAN TO CRY. I THEN FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS TRYING TO LOOK INTO THE NEW CAR WHILE CARRYING IN THE PEAS. THE CAR DOOR WAS UNLOCKED, AND HE DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD HURT TO SIT IN THE FRONT SEAT. UNFORTUNATLEY, SOMEONE CAME WALKING BY AND HE SLID DOWN INTO THE SEAT. HE HAD PLACED THE PEAS UP ON THE DASH, AND WHEN HE WENT TO GRAB THEM, THEY TIPPED. TRYING TO CATCH THE BOWL RESULTED IN HITTING THE RIM AND THOSE PEAS WENT EVERYWHERE! HE WAS SCARED AND DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING, JUST BROUGHT WHAT WAS LEFT INTO THE CHURCH AND PUT THE BOWL IN THE KITCHEN. BAD MAMA THAT I AM, I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE WHAT HAPPENED. ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TELL ANYONE, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY! SO I LET LITTLE OTTO OFF THE HOOK AND BECAME A GREEN PEAS CONSPIRATOR WITH HIM. THERE HAVE BEEN OTHER CULINARY INCIDENTS IN MY LIFE, ACTUALLY MANY OTHERS, BUT I WILL SAVE THEM FOR ANOTHER POST. UNTIL TOMORROW, LOVE, NANASEE