BACK TO OUR LOVE STORY

YESTERDAY'S POST ABOUT LITTLE OTTO REALLY GAVE ME SOME PEACE. I FOUND THAT I COULD WRITE ABOUT HIM WITHOUT TOO MUCH PAIN. IT IS FUNNY, LOSING BOBBIE JO IS JUST AS BAD, BUT THE EXPERIENCE IS SO DIFFERENT. I GUESS BECAUSE LITTLE OTTO WAS SO YOUNG, I WORRIED ABOUT HIM DIFFERENTLY. TO MY MAMA'S MIND, I WORRIED ABOUT WHO WOULD TAKE CARE OF HIM IN HEAVEN. THEN I REALIZED THAT HE WAS NOT ALONE, AND WITH MY PRECIOUS GRANDMOTHER CARTER. THERE IS SO MUCH ALONG THOSE LINES THAT HAS GIVEN ME PEACE. BUT, LET ME GET BACK TO OUR LOVE STORY. WAS IT ALWAYS GREAT? HECK NO! DID WE ALWAYS HAVE SUCCESS? OF COURSE NOT. DID WE FIGHT? YOU BET. THERE WE WERE, TWO YOUNG ADULTS WITH FIVE VERY YOUNG CHILDREN. WE WERE LIVING ON A VERY LIMITED INCOME AND HAD TWO DISTINCT IDEAS AS TO HOW WE SHOULD USE THAT LIMITED INCOME. WE WERE ALSO ADDING ON TO THE HOUSE BY OURSELVES, AND HAD DIFFERENCES ABOUT OUR CHURCH. MARTIN WAS A VIGOROUS YOUNG MAN, WITH VIGOROUS YOUNG MAN APPETITES, AND I WAS RUN RAGGED AND HAD RUN RAGGED MAMA APPETITES. SO, SEX, MONEY AND RELIGION. AS I RECALL, THOSE ARE THE THREE REASONS MARRIAGES HAVE TROUBLE. IT IS A GOOD THING THAT WE DID HAVE ABIDING LOVE, BECAUSE WITHOUT THAT CORE, WE WOULD NOT HAVE HAD A CHANCE. THE MONEY SITUATION CAUSED THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS. I WANTED TO BE SURE THE CHILDREN HAD ALL THEY NEEDED AS FAR AS A GOOD DIET, CLOTHING AND MEDICAL ATTENTION. MARTIN HAD BEEN RAISED WITH BEANS ON THE TABLE, SAUSAGE AND EGGS AND CORN BREAD. HE DID NOT RECALL GETTING MUCH FRESH FRUIT AND VEGETABLES AND DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I SPENT THE MONEY I DID ON GROCERIES. I WAS OFFENDED BECAUSE HE COULD NOT SEEM TO SEE THE EFFORT THAT I MADE TO STRETCH OUR FOOD DOLLAR. WE HAD MANY ARGUMENTS ON PAYDAY OVER THAT ALONE. I COOKED FROM SCRATCH, HAD A GARDEN, THE CHICKENS AND EGGS AND WENT TO THE SALVAGE STORE FOR THE REST. I INSISTED ON GETTING FRESH OR CANNED FRUITS AND VEGETABLES AND OTHER THINGS THAT MARTIN DID NOT THINK WE NEEDED. AS FOR CHURCH, HE DID NOT GO. I WAS SO HURT, I WANTED TO BE A FAMILY AT CHURCH ALL TOGETHER. THE CHILDREN MINDED ME JUST FINE, BUT I WANTED THEIR DADDY THERE TOO. EACH SUNDAY, IT WAS THE SAME THING. GET UP, GET THE CHILDREN READY AND ASK MARTIN WITH A GLARING LOOK IF HE WERE GOING WITH US. HIS REFUSAL WOULD SEND ME INTO A BAD MOOD THAT RUBBED OFF ON THE CHILDREN. I FELT SO ABUSED, HE MUST NOT LOVE ME IF HE WOULDN'T GO TO CHURCH! WE WOULD COME HOME TO SUNDAY DINNER AND A CLEAN HOUSE, BUT OH NO, THAT WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME! IF I COULD CHANGE ANYTHING, ANYTHING AT ALL, IN OUR 37 YEARS TOGETHER, I WOULD TAKE BACK MY SPOILED ATTITUDE ABOUT MARTIN'S CHURCH ATTENDANCE. I WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM THE CHANCE TO GO IF HE WANTED TO AND LOVED HIM NO MATTER WHAT HIS CHOICE WOULD HAVE BEEN. I WOULD HAVE LOOKED AT THE BIG PICTURE, AND SEEN HIM FOR THE WONDERFUL SACRIFICING MAN HE IS. THAT IS ONE THING I WILL ALWAYS BE ASHAMED OF, THAT I WAS SO UNBENDING ON HIS CHOICE FOR RELIGION. OVER THE YEARS, THINGS SEEMED TO BE WORSENING FOR US, BUT IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL OF IT WERE THE CHILDREN AND I HOPE WE PUT ON A GOOD FRONT FOR THEM. WE DID LOVE EACH OTHER, BUT LIFE WAS SO HARD, AND WE DID NOT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THINGS. THANK GOODNESS FOR OUR CHILDREN, I MUST SAY, THAT WITHOUT THEM, AND WITHOUT THE GOSPEL, I MAY HAVE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE AND LEFT MY SWEET HUSBAND. BUT ENOUGH OF THAT MOANING AND GROANING, LET ME GET BACK TO HAPPIER TIMES. REMEMBER I TOLD YOU THAT WE WERE ADDING ON TO THE HOUSE? WELL, WE ADDED A SECOND STORY AND PUT IN FOUR BEDROOMS. WE DID NOT PUT A BATHROOM UPSTAIRS, AS WE REALLY DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY, AND WE WERE AFRAID THAT THE KIDS WOULD LEAVE WATER RUNNING OR OVERFLOW THE TOILET. SO, UP WENT THE WALLS, AND THEN THE ROOF. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE ROOF. AFTER THE WOOD WAS PLACED ON THE ROOF, WE HAD TO PUT ON THE SHINGLES. IT WAS A VERY HOT AUGUST THAT YEAR, AND MARTIN AND THE KIDS WERE SHINGLING THE ROOF IN THE HOT SUN. I WOULD MAKE LOTS OF LEMONADE FOR THEM, BUT I FELT TERRIBLE THAT I WAS NOT UP THERE WITH THEM. TO GET UP ON THE ROOF, YOU HAD TO CLIMB UP TO THE TOP OF THE ENCLOSED PORCH, AND THEN JUMP UP ON THE ROOF FROM THERE. OR, YOU COULD HAVE USED THE LADDER, BUT CLIMBING UP ON THE PORCH ROOF WAS MORE FUN. WELL, THAT DAY, IN THE VICIOUS AUGUST TEXAS SUN, I DECIDED THAT I WAS GETTING UP ON THE ROOF TO HELP. REMEMBER, I AM NOT SMALL, AND NEVER WAS, SO THIS MAY NOT HAVE BEEN SUCH A GOOD IDEA. I CLIMBED UP ON THE PORCH ROOF, AND TRIED TO MAKE THE 4 FT JUMP ONTO THE NEW ROOF. I ALMOST MADE IT, HALF OF ME DID ANYWAY, AND THERE I WAS WITH THE LEFT HALF OF ME ON THE ROOF AND THE RIGHT HALF ALMOST FALLING BACK DOWN ONTO THE PORCH ROOF. I BEGAN TO SHREEK FOR HELP AND MARTIN CAME RUNNING. HE IMMEDIATLY SUPPORTED THE PART OF ME THAT WAS HANGING OFF AND SAID, "HONEY, YOU HAVE TO ROLL OVER ONTO THE ROOF. IF YOU ROLL THIS WAY WE ARE BOTH GOING TO DIE!" HE SHOVED WITH ALL HE HAD, I ROLLED WITH ALL I HAD, AND I WAS ON THE ROOF! FLAT ON MY BACK, STARING UP AT A CRYSTAL BLUE SKY, AND PANTING LIKE A HOG IN A CORN FIELD. MARTIN JUMPED UP THERE, AND TOLD ME TO GIVE HIM MY HAND, AND HE WOULD HELP ME UP. SLOWLY, I GOT MYSELF UP ON MY FEET WITH HIS HELP, AND FOUND THAT I COULD ACTUALLY BALANCE MYSELF WITH NO DIFFICULTY! WELL, I TOLD HIM TO SHOW ME THE SHINGLES AND HOW TO SHINGLE A ROOF, AND HE DID. IT WASN'T HARD, MAKE SURE THE SHINGLES LINE UP EVENLY TO EACH OTHER AND HAMMER THEM DOWN. I WAS SO PROUD OF MY FIRST LINE OF SHINGLES, THEY WERE STRAIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL! AARON PASSED ME ABOUT 5 TIMES WHILE I WAS DOING ONE PASS, AND I REALIZED I WOULD HAVE TO GET THE LEAD OUT AND GET GOING A BIT FASTER. SOON, I BECAME TERRIBLY HOT. I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A SISSY, SO I KEPT GOING. WORK AND SWEAT, SWEAT AND WORK. SCRAPE MY KNUCKLES ON THE SHINGLES, AND SMASH MY FINGERS WITH THE HAMMER. I WAS GETTING CRABBY, AND SINCE I WAS ON THE ROOF, WHO WAS GETTING THE LEMONADE? TO FINISH IT OFF, WHEN I STOOD UP, (AROUND 11AM) I NOTICED THAT THE TAR FROM THE SHINGLES WAS COMING OFF ON MY PANTS. MELTED TAR? C'MON, NOW IT IS TOOOOO HOT FOR ME! I TOLD MARTIN I WAS GOING IN AND HE NEEDED TO COME DOWN TOO, IT WAS TOO HOT FOR HIM AND THE CHILDREN. HE SAID OKAY, JUST GO ON DOWN THE LADDER-HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO FALL ON THE PORCH ROOF. THE LADDER? GO DOWN THE LADDER? WHY, IT WAS AT LEAST 18 FEET DOWN FROM THAT ROOF- ALTHOUGH IT SEEMED LIKE FORTY FEET FROM WHERE I WAS LOOKING DOWN. OH NO, NOT ME, I AM NOT CLIMBING DOWN THAT LADDER! MARTIN TOLD ME THAT I HAD TO OR I COULD NOT GET DOWN. THE END OF THE LADDER BARELY MADE IT OVER THE EDGE OF THE ROOF, AND I WOULD HAVE TO BEND DOWN JUST TO PUT MY FEET ON THE LADDER RUNGS. NO,NO, NO, NOT ME. I SAT DOWN AND CROSSED MY ARMS. I TOLD MARTIN I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, AND HE SUGGESTED THAT IF I COULD NOT USE THE LADDER, HE COULD CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT AND HAVE THEM COME AND GET ME. SURE, CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT. THE NEWS PEOPLE WOULD BE THERE IN A FLASH, TO SEE THEM HAUL A 300 POUND WOMAN OFF THE ROOF. NO WAY! BUT IT WAS GETTING HOTTER. I NEEDED A DRINK. TAR WAS MELTING ON THE SEAT OF MY PANTS. THE KIDS WERE LAUGHING AT ME, RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE LADDER TO SHOW ME THAT IT COULD BE DONE. I DID WHAT I DO BEST IN A CRISIS. I STARTED CRYING. MARTIN SUGGESTED THAT WE HAVE A PRAYER. SO, THERE IN THE AWFUL AUGUST HEAT WITH MY BUTT STUCK TO THE ROOF, MARTIN AND THE KIDS AND I PRAYED. WE PRAYED FOR WISDOM TO FIND A WAY TO GET ME OFF THE ROOF. WE PRAYED THAT MAMA WOULD NOT LOSE HER TEMPER AT THE CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. AND WE PRAYED THAT WE WOULD NOT HAVE TO CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT. UPON SAYING AMEN, MARTIN REACHED OVER AND TOOK MY GLASSES FROM ME. UPON MY PROTEST, HE SAID HE GOT THE IDEA THAT IF I COULD NOT SEE HOW FAR DOWN THE GROUND WAS, I MAY NOT BE AS FRIGHTENED. SO, I AGREED TO TRY. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IT WORKED. I STRUGGLED ONTO THE LADDER, KEEPING MY EYES CLOSED AND FOUND SURE FOOTING ON THE TOP RUNG. MARTIN CALLED ENCOURAGING WORDS TO ME AND SLOWLY I STEPPED DOWN ONE RUNG AT A TIME, GRIPPING THE SIDES OF THE LADDER WITH ALL MY STRENGTH. THERE WAS SOME KIND OF LATCH ON THE SIDE OF THE LADDER, AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA NOT TO GRAB THAT PART. I FOUND MYSELF ON SOLID GROUND AND JUST SAT DOWN WITH TEARS OF GRATITUDE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE. MARTIN SPRINTED DOWN THE LADDER, AND HE WAS WHITE AS A GHOST. "WHAT'S WRONG?" I ASKED. "I MADE IT DOWN JUST FINE!" HE TOLD ME THAT WHEN I ALMOST GRABBED THE LATCH, HE PRACTICALLY HAD A HEART ATTACK. "THAT LATCH COLLAPSES THE LADDER", HE SAID, "AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO GRAB IT. THANK GOD YOU DIDN'T!" WELL, THAT WAS ENOUGH FOR ME! NO MORE ROOFING FOR ME, EVER AGAIN! I WILL STICK TO WHAT I DO BEST, MAKE LEMONADE! WE HAD MANY ADVENTURES BUILDING ONTO THAT HOUSE, I WILL ENJOY RELATING THEM TO YOU IN FUTURE POSTS. LOVE, NANASEE