CHRISTMAS BIRD

ONE YEAR FOR CHRISTMAS, LITTLE OTTO WANTED A PARROT MORE THAN ANYTHING. THIS WAS DURING THE YEARS THAT WE HAD TO COUNT EVERY PENNY, AND A PARROT WAS WAY OUT OF THE BUDGET. BUT HE TOLD ME THAT HE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR A PARROT, HE BEGGED AND I THINK HE PRAYED FOR IT AS WELL. I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE WANTED A PARROT SO BADLY, BUT THAT WAS ALL HE TALKED ABOUT. ONE DAY, HE ASKED ME TO TAKE HIM TO THE PET STORE TO LOOK AT THE PARROT HE WANTED. I DIDN'T WANT TO, I DIDN'T WANT TO UPSET HIM WHEN I HAD TO TELL HIM THAT I COULDN'T AFFORD IT. BUT, I TOOK HIM AND WHEN WE GOT THERE HE WENT STRAIGHT TO THAT BIRD. WITH A RAPT LOOK ON HIS FACE, OTTO TOLD THE PARROT THAT HE WOULD BE COMING HOME WITH HIM SOON AND THEN HE WOULD HAVE A GOOD HOME. I GUESS OTTO HAD GOTTEN THE NOTION THAT THE PARROT NEEDED A BETTER HOME. I WAS SURPRISED AT OTTO'S CHOICE OF A PARROT. IT WAS A LITTLE GREEN PARROT, WITH A RED THATCH OF FEATHERS ON IT'S HEAD. NOTHING SPECTACTLAR. I LOOKED AT THE PRICE. 90.00. HMMM, THAT WASN'T SO BAD- OH, BUT I NEEDED A CAGE AND PARROT STUFF TOO, AND THE BILL ROSE CONSIDERABLY. I DECIDED TO ASK MARTIN FOR HELP ON THIS PROBLEM. HE DIDN'T WANT A PARROT AT ALL, AND TOLD ME SO. I COULDNT' DISAPPOINT OTTO, I WAS TOO SOFT I GUESS, AND BEGAN TO WRANGLE A WAY TO AFFORD THAT BIRD. WELL, TO GET TO THE BOTTOM LINE, SOMEHOW, I GOT THE MONEY TOGETHER AND THE PARROT CAME HOME ON CHRISTMAS EVE. I COVERED THE CAGE AND PUT HIM IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM FOR THE NIGHT. OTTO WAS THRILLED TO HAVE THE BIRD AND ALL CHRISTMAS DAY, SAT BY THE CAGE SAYING "OTTO" OVER AND OVER SO THE BIRD WOULD LEARN HIS NAME. (WE NAMED THE BIRD OTT). THAT SMART BIRD BEGAN TO CLEARLY SAY, "OTTO" WITHIN A FEW DAYS! WASN'T HE SMART?!!! I THEN DECIDED TO GET A TAPE TO PLAY FOR THE BIRD WHILE WE WERE OUT, SO THAT HE COULD LEARN OTHER WORDS. FOR SOME REASON, HE DIDN'T LEARN THEM. BUT HE DID LEARN ONE OTHER WORD, THANKS TO ME. I HAD, (HAVE SOMETIMES) A BAD HABIT OF SAYING SH-- WHEN I GET UPSET. ITIS A REALLY BAD HABIT, AND I SAID IT WITHOUT EVEN THINKING. THE BIRD STAYED IN A CORNER OF OUR LARGE COUNTRY KITCHEN, AND KEPT ME COMPANY EVERY DAY, AND HAD ACCESS TO MY LANGUAGE. ONE DAY, I HEARD THE KIDS LAUGHING LIKE CRAZY AND WENT TO SEE WHAT WAS SO FUNNY. "SH--!" SAID OTT. CLEARLY! OH MY GOODNESS! OF ALL MY EFFORTS TO TEACH HIM TO TALK, WHY DID HE PICK THAT UP? SO HIS VOCABULARY CONSISTED OF "OTTO" AND "SH--." I GAVE UP, NOW I HAD A PROFANE BIRD IN MY HOUSE. WHEN PEOPLE CAME OVER THEY ADMIRED OUR BEAUTIFUL PARROT AND OF COURSE THEY WOULD ASK IF HE TALKED. "NO!" I SAID. "YES!" THE KIDS SAID. THE COMPANY WANTED TO KNOW WHAT OTTO COULD SAY, AND I WOULD SAY, "LISTEN, THE SQUASH IN THE GARDEN IS BEAUTIFUL, LETS GO PICK SOME!" OR SOME OTHER INANE THING. WELL, TIME WENT BY, AND OTT NEVER LEARNED ANOTHER WORD. GOOD THING TOO, BECAUSE MARTIN HAD WORSE LANGUAGE THAN I DID. THE DOG HAD A LITTER OF PUPPIES IN THE SPRING, AND I KEPT THEM IN A BASKET IN THE CORNER BY THE KITCHEN STOVE. ONE NIGHT I HEARD THE PUPPIES BARKING AND YELPING LIKE CRAZY, AND THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS WRONG. I RAN INTO THE KITCHEN AND THERE THEY WERE, SLEEPING SOUNDLY. HMMM. I WENT BACK TO BED, AND ALMOST GOT COMFORTABLE WHEN THEY BEGAN TO YELP AND BARK AGAIN. BACK INTO THE KITCHEN I RAN, AND, PUPPIES STILL SLEEPING. FOR THE NEXT FEW NIGHTS, THIS CONTINUED. STUPID PUPPIES! THEN, ONE NIGHT, I GOT INTO THE KITCHEN IN TIME TO FIND THE CULPRIT! THE BARKING,YELPING PUPPIES WERE SLEEPING SOUNDLY, BUT OTT WASN'T! HE HAD LEARNED TO COPY THE PUPPIES, AND YOU COULD NOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE. THERE HE WAS JUST BARKING AND YELPING TO BEAT THE BAND. WELL, OF COURSE. NOTHING IS EVER NORMAL IN OUR HOUSE. SO, OUR VERY INTELLEGENT BIRD LEARNED TO TALK PROFANELY, AND BARK. WE STILL LOVED HIM THOUGH, AND OTTO WAS VERY PROUD OF HIM. MORE LATER, LOVE, NANASEE