HALLEUAH

THE HOME WAS SPONSORED BY THE BAPTIST CHURCH, MEANING THE ORGANIZATION TO WHICH MANY OF THE BAPTIST CHURCHES WERE A PART. OF COURSE, WE HAD TO GO TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY. IT WAS IMPERATIVE THAT WE WERE DRESSED OUR BEST, AND ON OUR BEST BEHAVIOR. MOST OF THE GIRLS DIDN'T LIKE GOING TO CHURCH, BUT I ALWAYS HAD, AND LOOKED FORWARD TO MEETING THE PEOPLE AT THE CHURCH WHERE WE WORSHIPPED.
ON SATURDAY WE THOROUGHLY CLEANED THE COTTAGE, MADE SURE THAT ALL THE LAUNDRY WAS DONE, CHANGED THE BEDS AND COOKED ANYTHING FOR SUNDAY THAT WAS NOT DONE LAST-MINUTE. FOR INSTANCE, A POT ROAST WOULD BE COOKED ON SATURDAY TO BE REFRIGERATED AND WARMED UP ON SUNDAY SO THAT THERE WOULD NOT BE TOO MUCH TO DO. THINGS LIKE OPENING VEGETABLES OR COOKING RICE OR POTATOES COULD BE DONE AFTER CHURCH, AS WELL AS BISCUITS OR CORNBREAD. DESSERTS WERE ALWAYS DONE ON SATURDAY AS WELL. IN THOSE DAYS, IF YOU WERE GOING TO SET YOUR HAIR, IT HAD TO BE DONE ON SATURDAY NIGHT AND YOU WOULD SLEEP IN ROLLERS. WE DIDN'T HAVE BLOW DRYERS OR HOT ROLLERS THEN. I FOUND IT DIFFICULT TO SLEEP IN ROLLERS AND SO I WAS HAPPY THAT MY HAIR WAS SHORT. WE HAD TO SET OUT OUR CLOTHES AND SHOES FOR CHURCH BEFORE GOING TO BED, AND EVERYTHING HAD BETTER BE IRONED AND NEAT. THE OLDER GIRLS, (WHICH, IT TURNED OUT THAT I WAS CONSIDERED TO BE ONE OF) HAD TO WEAR STOCKINGS, A GIRDLE AND A FULL SLIP UNDER THEIR SUNDAY OUTFITS. WHEN I SAY STOCKINGS, I MEAN THE KIND THAT CAME TO THE UPPER THIGH AND HOOKED ONTO THE GIRDLE TO BE HELD UP. (PANTY HOSE WERE SOMETHING ONLY THE WELL TO DO COULD AFFORD). STOCKINGS WERE GIVEN ONCE A MONTH, AND WE HAD TO REALLY TAKE CARE OF THEM. ON SUNDAY MORNING, WE WERE ALLOWED TO COME TO THE TABLE IN HOUSECOATS AND SLIPPERS, EVEN WEARING THEM WHEN YOU HAD CLEAN-UP DUTY. THE BREAKFAST TABLE WAS A PLETHORA OF CHENILLE HOUSECOATS IN EVERY PASTEL COLOR, FUZZY SLIPPERS THAT LOOKED LIKE EASTER EGGS, AND HUGE ROLLERS GRACING EVERY ONE'S HEAD THAT HAD LONG HAIR. SOME OF THE GIRLS USED ORANGE JUICE CANS FOR ROLLERS, AND WHEN THEY WERE TAKEN DOWN, THE HAIR WAS USUALLY STRAIGHT, BUT WITH LOTS OF BODY. SOME OF THE GIRLS HAD PIERCED EARS, BUT NO EARRINGS. I MADE LOTS OF BROWNIE POINTS WHEN I DISCOVERED THAT YOU COULD CUT OFF 3/4 OF A SEWING PIN, THE KIND WITH COLORFUL OR PEARL TOPS AND PUT THEM THROUGH YOUR EARS TO LOOK LIKE EARRINGS. YOU COULD KEEP THEM ON WITH A SMALL PIECE OF A PENCIL ERASER. I MADE EARRINGS FOR EVERYONE THAT WANTED THEM SINCE I HAD ACCESS TO THE SEWING PINS IN THE SEWING ROOM. I HAD "EARRINGS" IN ALL COLORS, AN ENTIRE WARDROBE OF THEM. WHEN BREAKFAST WAS OVER, IF WE HAD NO KITCHEN DUTY, WE WERE ASSIGNED A YOUNGER GIRL TO HELP HER GET READY FOR CHURCH. THIS INVOLVED GETTING THEM DRESSED AND FIXING THEIR HAIR. I LOVED TO DO THIS AS I HAD NO YOUNGER SISTER. FINALLY, WE LINED UP FOR INSPECTION, AND FILED OUT THE DOOR TO GET ON THE BUS. WE WORSHIPPED AT A LOCAL BAPTIST CHURCH, AND SINCE THE TOWN WAS SMALL, IT WAS THE ONLY ONE IN THE AREA. TO THE MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH, WE WERE KNOWN AS THE "ORPHANS". WE ALL HAD TO SIT RIGHT DOWN IN THE FRONT OF THE CHURCH, RIGHT UNDER THE PULPIT IN FULL VIEW OF EVERYONE. ALL OF THE COTTAGES WENT TO CHURCH TOGETHER AND THIS WAS THE ONE DAY THAT I GOT TO SEE MY BROTHERS. IT HURT. I MISSED THEM SO MUCH, AND WORRIED SO MUCH ABOUT LITTLE KENNY. GEORGE WAS A YEAR OLDER THAN ME, AND HE TOOK CARE OF KENNY, BUT STILL I WORRIED AND GRIEVED FOR HIM. MY EMOTIONS WERE IN CHECK. IT WAS SO STRANGE THAT I FELT SO DETACHED, UNTIL I HAD TO ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGE SOMETHING. AS LONG AS I DIDN'T SEE KENNY, I DIDN'T HAVE MANY FEELINGS. BUT, JUST A GLIMPSE OF HIM STARTED FEELINGS OF DESPERATION AND FEAR. I HAD TO LEARN TO TAMP THEM DOWN. I TRIED ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS TO JUST SIT AND THINK ABOUT MY BROTHERS, BUT IT WAS LIKE PICKING AT A SORE- TOO MUCH, AND I WOULD BLEED PAIN FROM MY HEART. IT IS SO HARD TO WRITE ABOUT THIS, AS THE FEELINGS EVEN TODAY, ARE FRESH AND PAINFUL. ANYWAY, ON SUNDAY, I GOT TO SEE MY BROTHERS, AND LATER, WHEN SCHOOL STARTED, I GOT TO SEE THEM EACH DAY. MY BROTHERS AND I GOT TO SIT TOGETHER IN CHURCH. GEORGE HATED TO GO TO CHURCH, AND WAS TERRIBLY BORED. HE WOULD POKE AT ME AND TRY TO MAKE ME LAUGH OR DO SOMETHING TO DRAW ATTENTION TO US. I DIDN'T WANT TO ATTRACT THE MATRON IN ANY WAY, SO I TRIED TO IGNORE HIM. HE LOVED TORMENTING ME LIKE THAT. I WOULD BRING THINGS FOR KENNY, SO THAT HE COULD BE GOOD IN CHURCH. HE WAS ONLY 6 YEARS OLD, AND I DIDN'T WANT HIM GETTING IN TROUBLE. THE PREACHER LOVED TO PREACH. HE LOVED TO PRAY. IT WAS SO HARD TO SIT THERE AND NOT FALL ASLEEP. SOME OF THE KIDS HAD PERFECTED THE ART OF CUTTING UP WITH EACH OTHER WHILE APPEARING TO BE ENRAPTURED BY THE SERMON. I ENVIED THEM. WHEN THE PREACHER WOULD BEGAN TO PRAY, HE WOULD START EVERY SENTENCE WITH, "I PRAY LORD THAT" AND I MEAN EACH AND EVERY SENTENCE. HE COULD SPOUT AT LEAST A 15 MINUTE PRAYER, AND WE HAD TO BE VERY REVERENT ESPECIALLY THAT WE WERE JUST UNDER HIS NOSE. SO, IT WAS, "I PRAY LORD THAT YOU WILL BLESS THE CROPS, OR, I PRAY LORD THAT SISTER SMITH WILL FEEL BETTER," AND ON AND ON. ONCE, WHEN HE WAS ESPECIALLY LONG WINDED, I MUTTERED TO MYSELF, "I PRAY LORD THAT HE WOULD SHUT UP ALREADY!" AND TO MY AMAZEMENT, HE SAID, "AMEN"! ANOTHER TIME, WHEN HE WAS DRONING ON AND ON WITH A SERMON, HE STOPPED AND STARED AT ME. I WAS NOT PAYING ATTENTION, AND JERKED TO ATTENTION WHEN I REALIZED THAT I WAS IN HIS SIGHTS. MY HEART LEAPT INTO MY THROAT, WONDERING WHAT I HAD DONE. BUT, IT WASN'T ME HE WAS GLARING AT, BUT MY BROTHER GEORGE. GEORGE WAS MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF PICKING HIS NOSE AND LOOKING AT THE BUGGARS. HE WOULD THEN WIPE THEM ON HIS PANTS AND GO BACK FOR MORE. I KNEW, I JUST KNEW THAT HE WAS DOING IT TO AGGRAVATE THE PREACHER. I PUNCHED HIM HARD AND WHISPERED AT HIM TO STOP IT, AND HE JUST SHRUGGED AND WITH A BIG GRIN, LOOKED BACK AT THE PREACHER. I BELIEVE I HEARD THE PREACHER MUTTER SOMETHING LIKE, "LITTLE DEVIL" AND HE WENT BACK TO THE SERMON. THANK GOODNESS FOR ME THAT MRS. THOMPSON SAW THAT IT WAS GEORGE AND NOT ME THAT WAS CAUSING THE RUCKUS.
WHEN WE GOT OFF THE CHURCH BUS, WE WERE EACH GIVEN A DIME TO PUT IN THE OFFERING PLATE. I COULD FEEL THE EYES OF THE OTHER CHURCH MEMBERS WATCHING AS EACH OF US DUTIFULLY PLACED OUT DIME IN THE PLATE, ALTHOUGH I ALWAYS WONDERED IF THEY WERE MAKING SURE WE PUT THE MONEY IN AND DIDN'T TAKE IT OUT! A QUICK COUNT WAS MADE AT THE END OF EACH PASS THROUGH THE CONGREGATION, AND IF IT WAS NOT SUFFICIENT, THE PREACHER WOULD SAY, "DIG IN DEEP! WE NEED A NEW WINDOW!" OR SOME OTHER NEED. I HAVE SEEN THE PLATE GO AROUND AT LEAST 4 TIMES BEFORE HE GAVE UP. (YOU WOULD THINK THAT THE MEMBERS WOULD LEARN SOONER OR LATER!)
I WAS AN OLD HAND AT IGNORING COMMENTS AND LOOKS GIVEN IN REFERENCE TO THE FACT THAT I HAD NOT BEEN ABLE TO WEAR STYLISH CLOTHING, BUT WE DID GET PLENTY OF "BEHIND OUR BACKS" CRITICISM OVER THE CLOTHING WE WORE, AND I KNEW THAT THE "ORPHANS" STOOD OUT BECAUSE WE WERE DEPENDENT ON THE BENEVOLENCE OF THE CHURCH MEMBERS. IT COULD HAVE BEEN EMBARRASSING, BUT I JUST DIDN'T CARE. LET THEM LOOK. LET THEM TALK. I MADE A VOW THAT I WOULD NEVER, EVER DO ANYTHING TO HURT ANYONE OR MAKE THEM UNCOMFORTABLE, BECAUSE I KNEW TOO WELL HOW IT FELT.
FINALLY, BLISSFULLY, THE PREACHER WOUND DOWN, AND THEN, WOULD ISSUE AN INVITATION TO ANYONE WHO WANTED TO CONFESS THEIR SINS BEFORE GOD AND BECOME A MEMBER OF THE CHURCH. SO, JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THAT I WAS GOING TO GET OUT OF THERE, THE CHOIR WOULD SING VERSE AFTER INTERMINABLE VERSE OF A HYMN INVITING THE "SINNERS" TO COME AND GIVE UP THEIR SINS. IF NO ONE CAME DOWN, THEN THEY JUST KEPT SINGING. MORE THAN ONCE I THOUGHT ABOUT GOING, JUST TO FILL THE RANKS.
FINALLY, IT WAS OVER. WE GOT BACK ON THE BUS, AND HOME TO OUR COTTAGES. WE HAD TO CHANGE OUR CLOTHES, AND GET READY FOR LUNCH. MOST OF US HAD SOMETHING TO DO TO GET LUNCH OR "DINNER" AS IT WAS CALLED, ON THE TABLE. THEN, WE ALL TOOK OUR SEATS WHILE THE MATRON SAT AT THE HEAD OF THE TABLE AND REGALLY WAITED FOR EVERYONE TO BE SEATED AND THE FOOD TO BE PUT ON THE TABLE. IF I THOUGHT SHE WAS LONG WINDED PRAYING BEFORE, WELL, IT WAS MARATHON TIME AT SUNDAY DINNER. IT SEEMED THAT SHE WOULD NEVER SHUT UP, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I WAS SO HUNGRY AND THE FOOD LOOKED SO GOOD. WHILE SHE DRONED ON, YOU COULD HAVE HEARD A PIN DROP IN BETWEEN HER WORDS, AS THE GIRLS WERE SO QUIET. I FOUND OUT WHY, THE HARD WAY. THE FIRST SUNDAY, I WAS SITTING WITH MY HEAD DOWN, THINKING ABOUT HOW HUNGRY I WAS. THE HOT, STEAMING, FLUFFY BISCUITS WERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I COULD SMELL THEM, SEE THE STEAM RISING AND THE BUTTER MELTING. THE PLATE WAS PILED HIGH, AND I SILENTLY COUNTED THEM. SUDDENLY, MY STOMACH GROWLED REALLY LOUDLY, ENOUGH SO THAT THE MATRON JERKED UP HER HEAD AND WITH PIERCING STARE, TRIED TO FIND THE CULPRIT THAT HAD THE NERVE TO HAVE THEIR GUTS GROWL IN THE MIDDLE OF HER PRAYER. I SAID A PRAYER OF MY OWN. "OH, PLEASE PLEASE GOD, LET HER THINK IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE! LET HER PASS ME BY." I KEPT MY HEAD BOWED. SOME OF THE OTHER GIRLS SNICKERED, AND SHE JUMPED ON THEM. "WHAT HAPPENS TO GIRLS WITH RUDE MANNERS!" SHE DEMANDED. WE ALL KNEW WHAT HAPPENED TO GIRLS WITH RUDE MANNERS, AND THE SNICKERING STOPPED. MY PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED, AS SHE QUICKLY SAID, "AMEN" AND "PASS THE BISCUITS". DINNER WENT ON WITHOUT INCIDENT, AND THEN IT WAS "SUNDAY VISITING AFTERNOON". THIS WAS THE TIME WHEN FAMILIES COULD COME AND VISIT IF THEY WANTED TO. MOTHER CAME THE FIRST SUNDAY, AND I WAS SO GLAD TO SEE HER. SHE TOOK GEORGE, KENNY AND ME INTO TOWN TO GET SOME ICE CREAM. THE NEXT SUNDAY, SHE DIDN'T COME, BUT ONCE IN AWHILE SHE WAS ABLE TO. I JUST HATED SITTING THERE, WAITING FOR HER, NEVER SURE IF SHE WOULD BE THERE OR NOT. THE TROUBLE WAS, WE ALL HAD TO SIT THERE EVEN IF OUR FAMILIES WERE NOT COMING. IT MADE FOR A LONG AFTERNOON. AT SIX O'CLOCK, WE HAD TO GET BACK ON THE BUS FOR THE EVENING SERVICE. MORE PREACHING. MORE PLATE PASSING. MORE SINNER CALLING. AND FINALLY, FINALLY, THE LONG DAY WAS OVER, AND IT WAS BED TIME. I WILL SAY, THAT WE COULD HAVE SNACKS ANYTIME WE WANTED, IF WE WERE WILLING TO GET THEM AND CLEAN UP AFTERWARD. ON SUNDAY NIGHTS AFTER CHURCH, THE GIRLS AND I WOULD GET TOGETHER AND HAVE A SNACK AND TALK AND VISIT. IT WAS A GOOD TIME FOR US, AS WE WERE COMPANIONABLE. FRANKIE AND HER CROWD STAYED APART FROM US, BUT THAT WAS OKAY. WE PLAYED BOARD GAMES, (CARDS WERE A NO-NO EVEN THOUGH WE PLAYED BEHIND THE MATRON'S BACK) OR WATCHED TV OR LISTENED TO THE RADIO. IT WAS DURING THIS TIME THAT BOYFRIENDS WERE DISCUSSED OR PROBLEMS THAT WE WERE HAVING. I REALIZED THAT I WAS BEGINNING TO FIT IN. I FELT A PART OF THE GROUP, AND IT WAS REALLY SPECIAL FOR ME. LOOKING BACK, I KNOW NOW THAT I WAS A BIT OF A DOORMAT SO THAT THEY WOULD LIKE ME, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER. TOMORROW, I WILL TELL YOU OF THE START OF HIGH SCHOOL. LOVE, NANASEE