toaster strudel

Oooh, what a sressful week it has been! Martin got sick again, and is home for a few days, of course, with no sick pay. But, that is okay, he is worth more to me than a paycheck, (I think!) I don't know when this will end, but I pray at least that he can get better. His doctor told him he could not return to the building where he works, and the HR person told him that since he has no more sick time, the only recourse left was to terminate him. I once again, freaked out, had a huge crying session, and then got my mind back to the matter at hand. That matter is, that Heavenly Father knows what we need, and will not let us down. The problem is, that I don't know what it is that Heavenly Father knows and so I feel kind of lost. When I realized the need to become an Ant, I didn't think that I would be facing such a crisis. That was about 3 months ago. Back then, becoming an Ant was a nobel thing to do, a responsible thing to do, and of course a challenge. Now, three months later, being an Ant is becoming a solid way of life. Well, enough whining, let me tell you what else being an Ant means. As most of you know, I am the queen of garage sales, second hand stores and any other way to find a bargain. In my grasshopper days, garage sale hunting was a weekly wonder- I didn't think about the cost of the so-called bargains, but instead went cheerfully and with gusto to garage sales for miles around my house. I bought so much crap, stuff I couldn't even use, but justified the purchase by keeping my friends and family in mind, "just in case they could use it". The money would slip through my hands, but along with it came the joy of being able to say, "Guess what I paid for this!" That statement was usually accompianied by the impressed looks and praise from the poor soul who had to endure my bargain crowing, and feeding my ego like a cat in a seafood store. Second hand stores are the same thing. Martin and I feel that the perfect date is browsing thrift shops and second hand stores, looking for cookie jars, tools and others "collectibles", and then go and have lunch and brag to each other about the great bargain we had once again "scored". Usually, the treasures we found would be taken in and placed on the dining table, you know until we could "find a place" for them, and by the time the next trip came around, would have to be moved, stored or given away so that the new stuff could go there. No matter how hard I tried, I could find no use for a vintage chip bowl shaped like a pineapple with matching cracker holders on a wooden turntable. It may have helped had all the cracker holders been there, but alas, in this case there were only two instead of three, and so the poor pineapple was exposed on the back of the turntable. But wait, I only paid a dollar for it, so isn't that a good enough reason to buy it? Like I said, the good old "Grasshopper" days. Today, Mama Ant kicked in with a passion. I found toaster strudels on sale for a DOLLAR a box! I made Martin take me to the store, with the thought of stocking up on toaster strudel for weeks to come. My grandkids love them, and well, it is pretty easy to pop them in the toaster at 7 in the morning while the little darlings come over to catch the bus. When I got to the store, my heart skipped a little faster as I began the race for the toaster strudel. Of course, I had to pass other stuff on the way to toaster strudel paradise, and that is where I kind of tripped up. First of all, there was a special that if you bought a frozen lasagna, you could get for free, some nesquick, some garlic bread, some salad and salad dressing. Whoo-hoo! What a bargain! It was a great big package, so I thought to myself that it would be perfect for Sunday dinner after church. I would whip up the salad, heat the bread and serve it all with a hot and savory presence of pasta. But wait, a few chips in the china- first of all, I can't eat meat, so I bought the cheese variety. Since I am the only one who can't eat meat, I can just see the others picking suspiciously between the noodles wondering where the beef is. Then, Becky can't eat tomato sauce, because it upsets her pregnant tummy, Martin doesn't like salad or lasagna and Joe thinks that if there is no meat, then it isn't food. I am still wondering how I am going to pull this off, because I excercised my Antness to "save" money on groceries. If push comes to shove, there will be an enormous lasagna for me to enjoy and another offering for the rest of them. Yeah, it's a bargain all right. Lasagna anyone? I then saw that soy milk was on sale, and thought that it would be a great time to stock up on soy milk for me. I had two gallons in the cart, and Martin came along and gave me an incredulous look. I told him with a beaming smile, that it was on sale, and he told me with a beaming return smile that if I bought two gallons of soy milk, there would be no room for the regular milk or the lactose-free milk that Becky and Eli needed to drink. The eggs would probably have a struggle too, not to mention the condiments and left-overs. The grasshoopper in me started to rise to the struggle, but then, the Ant came to the rescue. One gallon would be plenty for a week, and even though it was on sale, it wasn't a bargain if I didn't have room for it. Sausage was on sale too, and I almost unconciously reached to grab several pounds to throw into the cart "for a rainy day". I heard Martin clear his throat, and I courageously said, "You know, we really don't need 15 pounds of sausage, well, I guess we don't need any sausage since I have lots in the freezer". But I couldn't move. That sausage had been reduced from 4.50 a pound to 1.50 a pound. Everything in me was screaming, "grab the meat!" but I stood firm. With a herculean effort, I pushed my cart away, at first only inches, but then, a foot and then even several yards until I could no longer see the sausage display. It was like seening a car wreck, I wanted so bad to turn around and get just one last peek at such a fabulous buy, but somehow, I continued forward with determination. Then, it happened. There, before my eyes, was an entire freezer display of toaster strudel. All the flavors. Glowing and gleaming, enticing one with their colors and lettering, a veritable smorgasborg of easy-to-make breakfast pastry. And only a dollar a box! I sized up the room in my cart. My fingers began to tingle at the thought of tossing box after frozen box of toaster strudel into the basket, going back for more like a true toaster strudel athlete. I could see the look of absolute gratitude and worship on the faces of my grandsons as I placed the steaming toaster strudel before them, and then with a flourish, drizzled the frosting in an intricate pattern. Yes, it was a toaster strudel fantasy. I flexed my muscles, and braced for the frigid temperatures that would greet my greedy hands as I decimated the carefully laid display in the freezer. I grabbed the handle on the freezer and opened the door. Now, for the fun. I put two boxes in my cart, and the strangest thing happened. The Ant came roaring out of me in true indignation. How dare I allow the Grasshopper to indulge itself by hoarding toaster strudel. Where was my class? My determination to be an Ant? How could I justify spending that kind of money, (even though it was a really good price) on a cartfull of toaster strudel? I straightened my back, lifted my head and stepped back. Placing two more boxes for a total of only four in the cart, I shut the freezer door. Only four boxes. I could do it. I could be normal in the face of a bargain hunters fantasy. I dug down deep and decided that I WOULD do it. I would act like an Ant. An act of courage that was so distant to me, but yet, I would do it. I felt the strength began to surge through me as a thought came blasting out of my brain. Was it, "be strong, be responsible, be sensible?" Was it, "step away from the toaster strudel and nobody's budget will be hurt?" Was it, "tomorrow you will be so proud of yourself?" or even, "you will thank yourself in the future, especially if Martin does truly lose his job?" No, the golden thought that reigned in the monster, that gave birth to an even stronger Ant, that made me feel like a crowning success in the face of massive temptation was just this-"They are Sissy's kids, let her buy the toaster strudel!" Love, Nanasee