A New Year's Resolution

My Christmas vacation ended quickly, and once again we were on our way back to the children's home. I never asked Mother when we would be coming home for good, I think I knew that it would be a long time if ever. Once again, the taxi stopped in front of the cottage, and I got out graced by a kiss on my cheek from Mother and an admonition to be good. I thought to myself that I was always good, and she didn't have to remind me to behave. I picked up my bag of gifts and walked into the cottage to my room. The first thing I did was to put the pink stuffed pig on my pillow. I loved that pig. It meant so much to me, and seemed to be a wish come true that I had wished for when I first arrived at the home. Then, looking over at Mindy's bed, I realized that she didn't have a stuffed animal. I wish I had thought to ask Mother to get one for her while I was away for Christmas. Mindy did however, have a bean frog. It wasn't on the bed at the time, but I knew it was close by. I felt a little better. Just then, Mindy came bounding into the room and hugged me tightly. We were so glad to see each other and chattered away with all the news that had occurred during our separation. Mindy told me that gifts had been left for the girls in the cottage and there were some for me. This surprised me, and together we hurried down the hall to the living room where a tree had been decorated. Under the tree were some brightly wrapped gifts and a closer look revealed that four of them had my name on gift tags. Well now, this is looking better and better! Mindy reached under the tree and handed me my gifts. Together, we went back to our room so that I could open them in private. The first box contained some underwear, a bra and some knee socks. I remembered how much I had wanted knee socks at the beginning of the school year, but I had gotten used to anklets and gave up on ever getting knee socks. But now, I had three pair of white knee socks! They were precious to me. Another box had an assortment of personal hygiene items, deodorant, soaps, bubble bath, lotions and scents. The scent I liked the best was one called baby love, and sure enough, there was a small bottle of baby love right before my eyes. There was also a big, fluffy sponge for bathing, pink in color, and I imagined myself frothing in soapy suds as I luxuriated in a bubble bath. In the next box there was a pink sweater, very dressy and perfect for church. Last of all, and saved for last for a reason, was a small box. It fit in the palm of my hand, and even before I opened it, I knew it was some kind of jewelry. Who would give me jewelry? I knew the other gifts were the same as everyone else got, but I wondered why I would get something different. I almost held my breath as I began to unwrap the little box. Sure enough, it was a jewelry box, the kind a ring came in. I flipped open the top and gasped out loud. There, winking and gleaming, was the little ruby ring that had caught my eye the day I was shopping with Mindy. With shaking hands, I took the ring out of it's bed and gazed at it. Who would give me a ring like this? I slipped it on my ring finger and it fit! The glowing red of the ruby enchanted me as I wiggled my finger to see the light refracting. There was no card, nothing to tell me who had given it to me. I realized that my cheeks were becoming wet with my tears. Someone thought I was special enough to buy this ring for me, and I didn't know who it was. Since I had no one else to thank, I threw my arms around Mindy and squealed with joy. I told her that I wished so much to know who had given me that ring. Mindy had a funny look on her face. I asked her what she was thinking, and she sat down a moment before she began to speak. She began with a hesitant voice, "Jodie, something funny happened the day you left to go home with you Mother for Christmas. As I was working in the kitchen, the matron told me she wanted to talk to me. She wanted to know what we did the day we went into town to get the gifts out of lay-away. She asked if there were some place that we liked more than the other places. I didn't think we had done anything wrong, so I told her about the gifts, the feed store and the jewelry store. I told her how much you liked the jewelry store, and especially the ruby ring like the one that you got today. She said okay, and that was it". Trying to assimilate what Mindy was saying, I sat down with a thump. As the meaning of Mindy's words pierced my brain, I felt shocked.
Could the matron have given me this ring? Why? How could I find out? I thought about it for a long time and just decided to ask her. I knew that would be hard to do, but as I did the last time I had to talk to her, I just went and did it. I knocked on her door, and once again, she growled for me to come in. Just as last time, she was propped up in a recliner watching a soap opera with a cup of coffee at her elbow on a side table. Once again, she was barefoot. The paddle was still on the wall. I swallowed and began. "I just wanted to let you know that I am home" I said. "I didn't know there were gifts under the tree for me, and just look what someone gave me." I held out my hand to show her the ring. "It is the most beautiful and special thing I have ever been given, and I just love it, don't you? I cannot imagine who would do something so very sweet for me". The matron looked at my hand pointedly and said, "hmmm, that sure is pretty. It kind of reminds me of the lovely eyes on that frog you made for me. I sure enjoy having it in my back window. It is real special to me." She gave me a quick smile and a little wink, and I knew for sure that she had given that ring to me. I sniffed a bit, and told her that I would treasure that ring for my whole life, and I loved it so much. She got a bit huffy and kind of brushed me off, but I knew that she knew that I knew who my benefactor was. I also knew that I could never tell the other girls what the matron had done for me, she would not have liked that at all. So, I told her that I was glad to be home and after I got settled in, I was going to the kitchen to make some brownies. I told her that I would bring her some for her coffee. She grunted her affirmation, and I left the room. I lied to Mindy later and told her that the matron certainly did not give me that ring, she must have been crazy to even think such a thing. I had a lot to think about. Perhaps the matron just could not show affection, or perhaps she had not known a lot of love. I realized that the little bean frog must have meant so much to her, maybe she did not get a lot of gifts. She was mean spirited, sometimes cruel and always a terror to us, but somehow, I had been able to see into her heart and to my surprise, she had a softer side. I would try to be kinder to her and be a better friend. It was a moment in my life that gave me the realization that you just could not judge people without getting to know them. Don't get me wrong, I would never do anything to give her a reason to punish me, I knew that she would not draw the line for me or anyone else for that matter. But, while watching my back, I would make an effort to get to know her better. That was my New Years resolution.