THOSE GREEN EYES

THROUGH ALL THE YEARS SINCE I HAVE MET MARTIN, ONE THING HAS NEVER CHANGED. HIS GREEN EYES. YES, THEY ARE A BIT OLDER, AND OF COURSE MUCH WISER, BUT STILL FULL OF LOVE. RIGHT NOW, THEY HAVE MUCH PAIN IN THEM, PERHAPS THEY ARE A BIT CLOUDY, AND CERTAINLY THEY SHOW THAT MARTIN MISSES BOBBIE JO. BUT, AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT, THOSE GREEN EYES LIGHT UP AT THE SIGHT OF ONE OF HIS GRANDSONS, HIS GERMAN SHEPHERD ROCKY, A BOWL OF ICE CREAM, A GAME OF DOMINOES, A PLATE OF KING CRAB LEGS, BUT MOSTLY, THEY LIGHT UP WHEN THEY SEE ME. SOMETIMES, WHEN I AM NOT LOOKING, THOSE GREEN EYES ARE WATCHING ME. WATCHING ME COOK, READ, FOLD LAUNDRY OR ANY NUMBER OF THINGS. SOMETIMES, THOSE GREEN EYES LOOK ANXIOUSLY FOR A SMILE FROM ME WHEN MARTIN HAS BEEN OUT FISHING AND FORGOTTEN THAT HE HAD PROMISED TO TAKE ME SOMEWHERE. MAYBE HE DID SOMETHING TO UPSET ME, OR SAID SOMETHING TO HURT ME. (HE SWEARS THAT HE WOULD NEVER DO THAT!) BUT IN THOSE MOMENTS, A SPARK OF ANXIOUSNESS APPEARS. SOMETIMES THEY LOOK WITH ANTICIPATION AT THE KITCHEN FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, HOPING TO SEE SOME SAUSAGE, EGGS AND GRITS BEING PREPARED FOR HIS BREAKFAST, OR WHEN HE COMES IN AT NIGHT, HOPING FOR A TREAT OR SNACK. SOMETIMES, I SEE HUMOR IN THOSE GREEN EYES, AS MARTIN WATCHES ME STRUGGLE INTO MY PANTY HOSE, STAGGER OUT OF BED FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, OR TRYING TO GIVE THE DOG OR CAT THEIR VITAMINS OR MEDS. I SEE THOSE GREEN EYES GLOW WITH PATIENCE AS MARTIN ANSWERS YET AGAIN, "WHY?" FROM ONE OF THE GRANDSONS. I SEE THOSE GREEN EYES GLOW WITH PRIDE AS MARTIN INTERRACTS WITH HIS CHILDREN, BEING TENDER WITH BECKY, FISHING WITH AARON OR JOKING AROUND WITH SISSY. THOSE GREEN EYES USED TO RELISH THE ARGUMENTS WITH BOBBIE JO, WATCHING HER PAINT WITH HIM OR WORK ON THE HOUSE. THOSE EYES DO SO MUCH AND MEAN SO MUCH, BUT, THEY MEAN THE MOST TO ME. MORE THAN ANYONE, THEY ARE MEANT FOR ME. TO HELP ME THROUGH THIS LIFE WHEN PAIN SLAMS ME, GRIEF TRIES TO BREAK ME, SADNESS TRIES TO CRIPPLE ME. WHEN ILLNESS TRIES TO STOP ME, ANGER GETS IN MY WAY, OR DISSAPOINTMENT BRINGS ME DOWN, I LOOK FOR THOSE GREEN EYES AND SEE ENCOURAGEMENT AND LOVE, AND MOST OF ALL, CONFIDENCE IN ME. IT IS FUNNY, AFTER 37 YEARS OF LOOKING INTO THOSE GREEN EYES, I DO NOT NOTICE THE SLIGHT DROOP OF THE LEFT EYELID THAT HAS APPEARED, NOR DO I NOTICE THE BUSHY EYEBROWS THAT ARE A MARK OF ADVANCING AGE. AROUND THOSE EYES, THERE ARE SMALL AGE SPOTS, A FEW WRINKLES AND A MOLE OR TWO. ALL I SEE IS THE GREEN OF A PAIR OF EYES THAT LOVE ME BEYOND MEASURE. HOW CAN TWO ORBS THAT HAVE NO REAL EXPRESSION, HAVE SO MUCH EXPRESSION? THE COLOR HAS NOT CHANGED, THE GREEN IS STILL BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL. I HATE TO SEE THOSE GREEN EYES FILL WITH TEARS. IT HAPPENS MORE OFTEN THESE DAYS, AS THOUGH IT IS TOO HARD TO TRY TO STOP THEM. THE TEARS MAKE THE GREEN OF HIS EYES MORE CRYSTALLINE, BUT THAT IS BEAUTY THAT I DO NOT WISH TO SEE. HIS EYES ARE THE FIRST HINT WHEN HE IS PICKING ON SOMEONE, THEY JUST HAVE TO LOOK AND TELL THAT HE IS ONLY HAVING FUN. WHEN WE WERE YOUNG, HIS GREEN EYES BLAZED WITH PASSION AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT-NOW, THE PASSION IS STILL THERE, BUT IT IS A STEADY FIRE, NOT SO MUCH A BLAZE. IT TICKLES ME THAT HE THINKS I AM SEXY. I DO NOT. HE LOVES MY NIGHTIES, AND HIS EYES LIGHT AND GLOW WHEN I DON ONE-THE GLOW IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS I WANT TO PLEASE HIM. I SEEM TO PLEASE HIM OFTEN, BUT NOW, THE PLEASURE IS BECAUSE HIS SOCKS ARE MATCHED IN HIS DRAWERS, HIS FEET GET RUBBED ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT, BECAUSE THERE IS A SWEET POTATO PIE COMING OUT OF THE OVEN, OR MAYBE BECAUSE I SPEND A FEW EXTRA MINUTES SCRATCHING ROCKY'S TUMMY. I DO THINGS TO PLEASE HIM, NOT BECAUSE I HAVE TO OR ARE FORCED TO, BUT BECAUSE I WANT TO. MY REWARD IS THE LOOK IN THOSE GREEN EYES, THE LOOK OF APPRECIATION AND LOVE. I LOOK FORWARD TO AN ETERNITY OF SEEING HIS GREEN EYES, SHINE WITH LOVE, PASSION, COURAGE, APPRECIATION, HUMOR AND CARE. HIS EYES ARE THE ONE CONSTANT THAT I HAVE ALWAYS HAD TO ANCHOR ON-EVEN IN THE MOMENT THAT I THOUGHT I WAS SAYING GOODBYE FOR THE LAST TIME, BEFORE MY SURGERY FOR WHAT WAS CONSIDERED A TERMINAL ILLNESS, I FOCUSED ON HIS EYES AS I WAS ROLLED DOWN THE HALL. I DON'T KNOW HOW HE CONSIDERS MY EYES, MAYBE NOT AT ALL. BUT I KNOW THAT HIS GREEN EYES ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. BY THE WAY, NONE OF THE CHILDREN HAVE GREEN EYES. WHAT A SHAME! LOVE, NANASEE