SUPER MOM (I THINK!)

WE NOW HAD 4 WONDERFUL CHILDREN ALL UNDER THE AGE OF 6! OUR HOUSE WAS BECOMING A BIT CROWDED, AND WE BEGAN TO MAKE PLANS TO ACTUALLY START THE UPSTAIRS FOR MORE ROOM. ONE PROBLEM, THAT IS EXPENSIVE. SO, WE ACTUALLY STARTED MAKING PLANS TO START SAVING FOR THE ADD-ON UPSTAIRS. LITTLE OTTO HAD LOTS OF TROUBLE WITH HIS LITTLE EARS, ALWAYS AN EAR INFECTION, AND CONSTANTLY ON ANTIBIOTICS. THE DOCTOR TOLD US THAT WHEN HE REACHED 15LBS IN WEIGHT THEY WOULD HAVE TO DO EAR TUBES FOR HIM. HE WAS JUST 4 MONTHS OLD WHEN HE REACHED 15LBS, BUT HIS EARS WERE SO BAD THAT THEY DECIDED TO GO ON AND DO THE SURGERY. LONG STORY SHORT, HE DID VERY WELL, AND WE TOOK HIM HOME. YOU KNOW, HE WAS THE BEST BABY I EVERY HAD, NEVER CRYING AND SLEEPING ALL THE TIME. I BEGAN TO WORRY THAT MAYBE HE HAD SUSTAINED SOME DAMAGE WITH THE TRAUMATIC BIRTH, BUT TIME WOULD TELL. ANYWAY, AFTER WE TOOK HIM HOME AFTER THE EAR SURGERY, I CARRIED HIM OUT TO THE BACK TO SEE THE CHICKENS. THEY WERE SWEET CHICKENS, NEVER PECKING US, BUT JUST MILLING AROUND HOPING FOR SOME GRAIN. I SAT DOWN ON MY CHICKEN VISITING BUCKET, HOLDING OTTO AND TELLING HIM QUIETLY, "LOOK AT THE CHICKENS OTTO. AREN'T THEY CUTE?" SUDDENLY, OUR VERY LARGE ROOSTER BUCKED UP AND CROWED AS LOUD AS HE COULD. LITTLE OTTO ABOUT JUMPED OUT OF MY ARMS AND STARTED SCREAMING. I COULD NOT CALM HIM DOWN, AND AFTER A FEW MINUTES, I STARTED WORRYING THAT HE COULD BE IN SOME KIND OF PAIN. I RAN TO THE HOUSE, CALLED THE DOCTOR AND TEARFULLY TOLD HIM WHAT HAD HAPPENED. "DID YOU SAY HE JUMPED AND STARTED CRYING WHEN THE ROOSTER CROWED?"ASKED THE DOCTOR. I TOLD HIM YES AND I COULD NOT GET HIM TO STOP CRYING OR JUMPING AT SUDDEN NOISES. "WELL MRS. SEE, IT SEEMS THAT THE EAR SURGERY MAY HAVE RESTORED OTTO'S HEARING. WE WERE CONCERNED AT HEARING LOSS, ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU TOLD US THAT HE DID NOT CRY MUCH AND SLEPT ALL THE TIME. HE IS FRIGHTENED BECAUSE HE IS NOT USED TO HEARING VERY WELL, AND LOUD NOISES ARE UNUSUAL TO HIM. HE WILL BE OKAY" ASSURED THE DOCTOR. AND, HE WAS! OF COURSE NOW, HE DIDN'T SLEEP AS MUCH, AND HIS HEAD IS CONSTANTLY TURNING AND SWIVELING AT EVERY NOISE. HIS LITTLE FACE WOULD LIGHT UP AND GLOW WHEN HE HEARD MUSIC, AND HE WOULD LAUGH OUT LOUD WHEN HE HEARD THE OTHER CHILDREN. THE MOST SPECIAL THING THOUGH, WHEN I WOULD QUIETLY TALK TO HIM OR SING TO HIM, HE WOULD FIX HIS LITTLE BLUE EYES TO MY FACE AND JUST LOOK AT ME. SO PEACEFUL AND SERENE, HE LOVED TO HEAR MY VOICE. (AFTER HE GOT OLDER, HE MORE OFTEN IGNORED MY VOICE, CALLING HIM IN TO DO HOMEWORK, CHORES OR DINNER TIME!). SOON IT WAS CHRISTMAS. THE HOUSE WAS FULL, FULL OF JOY, LAUGHTER AND HAPPINESS. WE ONLY HAD A BIG SPACE HEATER, BUT WE CAMPED IN FRONT OF IT AND SNUGGLED ALL TOGETHER TO KEEP WARM. WHEN SANTA CAME THAT YEAR, THE TREE WAS BURSTING WITH GIFTS, (I HAD DISCOVERED THE DOLLAR STORE) AND COVERED WITH HANDMADE DECORATIONS. WE HAD STRUNG POPCORN AND MADE PLAYDOUGH COOKIE CUT-OUTS STRUNG ON RIBBON. WE TOOK MASON JAR LIDS AND PASTED FAMILY PICTURES OR CHRISTMAS SCENES ON THEM. THE CHILDREN WERE LITTLE AND DIDN'T CARE THAT THE GIFTS WERE NOT EXPENSIVE, JUST HAPPY TO HAVE SO MANY. WE CELEBRATED NEW YEARS EVE THAT YEAR, WITH KOOL-AID AND SNACKS. THE NEXT DAY WE WENT TO MARTIN SR. AND LOLA'S HOUSE FOR THE TRADITIONAL NEW YEARS DINNER. SCHOOL STARTED AGAIN AND I HAD 3 LITTLE ONES AT HOME AND ONE IN SCHOOL. I COOKED, SEWED, FED ANIMALS, WASHED CLOTHES, CLEANED, TOLD STORIES, AND OTHER NORMAL YOUNG MOTHER THINGS. FORTUNATELY, THE CHILDREN GOT ON WELL TOGETHER. LITTLE OTTO CONTINUED TO BE A GOOD BABY, AARON A GOOD TODDLER AND BOBBIE JO A GOOD HELPER. IN JANUARY OF THAT YEAR, MARTIN DECIDED TO GO TO COLLEGE. HE WOULD WORK ALL DAY, COME HOME TO KISS THE CHILDREN, EAT A MEAL AND OFF HE WOULD GO TO RETURN AT 9 OR 10 AT NIGHT. THEN, UP AT 5:30 AM TO EAT AND GO TO WORK. THE FIRST SEMESTER WAS UNBELIEVABLY DIFFICULT FOR ME. I WAS LONELY AND OVERWORKED, BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING TO DISCOURAGE HIM, SO I TRIED TO KEEP A BRIGHT FACE. ONE SATURDAY NIGHT IN JUNE, AFTER SCHOOL WAS OUT FOR JESSICA AND MARTIN DIDN'T HAVE HOMEWORK, FARMWORK, OR ANYWORK, HE ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE. "WHOO-HOO! JUST THE TWO OF US? " I ASKED? HE SAID YES, HE HAD A SURPRISE FOR ME. THE SURPRISE WAS THAT HE HAD RE-CREATED ONE OF OUR FIRST DATES, COMPLETE WITH THE SAME RESTAURANT AND THEN A TRIP TO THE LOCAL DRIVE-IN MOVIE. (WE STILL HAD THEM THEN). IT WAS SO ROMANTIC! ABOUT THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE, (I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT THE MOVIE WAS) MARTIN STARTED GETTING ALL SMOOCHIE-POO. HOW CUTE. THEN, VERY SMOOCHIE-POO AND THE INEVITABLE SUGGESTION, "HEY BABY, WE ARE ALL ALONE-" (AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS). LET'S SEE- WE ARE IN THE FRONT SEAT OF A BIG OLD PICK-UP TRUCK IN THE FAR LANE OF THE DRIVE-IN, AWAY FROM EVERYONE ON A VERY DARK SATURDAY NIGHT WITH NO ONE AROUND US. I TOLD HIM, "NO SWEETIE, I AM NOT PREPARED, AND WE COULD FIND OURSELVES WITH ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER ON THE WAY". "OH, COME ON HONEY, ONCE WONT HURT!" REMEMBER THOSE FAMOUS LAST WORDS FROM LAST TIME HE SAID THAT? IT WASN'T LONG AFTER THAT, ONE DAY WHEN I WAS WEEDING THE GARDEN, I BECAME VERY ILL AND LEFT MY LUNCH ON THE SIDE OF THE ROW OF SQUASH. "OH-OH" I THOUGHT. I WENT IN THE HOUSE, GOT ON MY KNEES, AND BEGAN TO POUR OUT MY HEART TO HEAVENLY FATHER IN WORRY. I RECEIVED THE MOST CALMING FEELING, "REMEMBER THE LITTLE GIRL BABY I SHOWED YOU. DO NOT FEAR". SUDDENLY, I WAS FILLED WITH SO MUCH JOY- ALL MY FEAR LEFT ME, AND I BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT HAVING ANOTHER LITTLE ONE. THE FEELINGS CAME SWIFTLY AND CLEARLY TO ME-"YOU HAVE FULLFILLED YOUR PROMISES TO ME CONCERNING YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL BE SO BLESSED WITH THIS CHILD. YOU WILL KNOW IN TIME THE GREAT GIFT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY WILL RECEIVE BECAUSE YOU DID NOT FEAR TO TRUST ME." I COULD NOT IMAGINE A GREATER GIFT THAN THE CHILDREN I ALREADY HAD AND MARTIN, BUT I REJOICED IN THE KNOWLEGE THAT HAVING THIS BABY WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. ONE LITTLE PROBLEM THOUGH, WHEN DO I TELL MARTIN? HE WAS ALREADY SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL, WORK, THE FAMILY AND THE ANIMALS. I DECIDED TO WAIT UNTIL THE TIME WAS RIGHT, ANYWAY, HE WOULD FIGURE IT OUT SOONER OR LATER! SO, THE SUMMER PASSED, IT WAS TIME FOR SCHOOL AGAIN. ON THE SUNDAY BEFORE LABOR DAY, WE PACKED UP AND WENT TO SHINER FOR THE PICNIC. BOBBIE JO STARTED KINDERGARTEN, AND I REALIZED MY FAMILY WAS GROWING UP. WE HAD THE USUAL FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL CELEBRATION, AND THEN IT WAS FALL. I WAS FORTUNATE THAT I DID NOT HAVE MORNING SICKNESS, BUT NOW FOUR MONTHS HAD PASSED AND I HAD NOT GONE TO A DOCTOR. I MADE THE APPOINTMENT, AND GOT A BABYSITTER. THIS WOULD BE THE FIRST TIME I WAS GOING TO HAVE A BABY WITHOUT MARTIN'S SUPPORT OR KNOWLEGE. I JUST HADN'T BEEN ABLE TO TELL HIM YET. I SAT IN THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE WITH TEARS IN MY EYES- I FELT SO BAD. THEN, THE DOOR OPENED, AND IN WALKED MARTIN! HE CARRIED ONE OF MY FAVORITE SUB SANDWICHES AND A COLD DRINK AND SAT DOWN NEXT TO ME, GRINNING. "HOW DID YOU KNOW?" I SNIFFLED. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?" HE TENDERLY ASKED, WITH SO MUCH LOVE IN HIS EYES. I TOLD HIM THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO BURDEN HIM WHAT WITH SCHOOL,WORK AND THE FAMILY. HE PUT HIS ARMS AROUND ME AND SAID, "SWEETIE, YOU ARE NOT ALONE WITH THIS FAMILY. I AM NOT ONE OF THE KIDS, I AM YOUR PARTNER. YES, WE HAVE A LOT TO DEAL WITH, BUT WE ARE ONE AND WE WILL DEAL WITH IT TOGETHER. NEVER KEEP ANYTHING FROM ME AGAIN. I LOVE YOU AND THAT'S THE END OF IT." I ASKED AGAIN HOW HE KNEW I WAS PREGNANT, AND HE TOLD ME THAT 8 YEARS OF MARRIAGE AND FOUR KIDS PRETTY MUCH LET HIM KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME. WE SAT AND ATE OUR SANDWICH, AND THE DOCTOR CALLED ME IN. MORE TOMORROW, LOVE, NANASEE