OFF TO VIETNAM

AFTER JESSICA WAS BORN, WE BEGAN TO LOOK FORWARD TO MOVING AS SOON AS MARTIN'S NEW ORDERS CAME IN. WE WERE GRATEFUL THAT HE HAD BEEN ALLOWED TO STAY WITH ME FOR THE BABY, BUT HE ONLY HAD ANOTHER SIX WEEKS AND HE WOULD HAVE TO LEAVE. AS EACH DAY PASSED, WE WAITED ANXIOUSLY FOR HIS NEW ASSIGNMENT. WE WEREN'T TOO WORRIED ABOUT VIETNAM AS THEY WERE CUTTING BACK FROM SENDING TROOPS OVER THERE, BUT SURE ENOUGH, THE ORDERS CAME: REPORT TO LEAVE FOR VIETNAM ON JULY 16TH. WE COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. NOT NOW, NOT AFTER EVERYTHING HAD BEEN GOING SO WELL FOR US. HE WAS DUE TO BE GONE FOR EIGHTEEN MONTHS- EIGHTEEN LONG MONTHS! WHAT WOULD JESSICA AND I DO WHILE HE WAS GONE? MARTIN WANTED ME TO LIVE WITH HIS PARENTS, BUT I DID NOT WANT TO DO THAT AS THEY WERE NOT SO HAPPY WITH ME BECAUSE HE HAD LEFT TO TAKE ME TO TENNESEE AND THEY FELT HE HAD THROWN HIS LIFE AWAY. WE DECIDED THAT JESSICA AND I WOULD LIVE IN HOUSTON WITH HIS PARENTS FOR A SHORT TIME AND I WOULD WORK WHILE MARTIN'S STEP-MOM LOLA TOOK CARE OF JESSICA. SOON THE FIRST OF JULY CAME AND IT WAS TIME TO GO. WE HAD PACKED UP OUR FEW BELONGINGS, (ALTHOUGH THEY WERE A LOT MORE THAN WHEN WE STARTED) PACKED THE CAR AND OFF WE WENT. IT WAS QUITE A DRIVE TO HOUSTON, BUT WE WERE HAPPY ABOUT HAVING THE TIME TOGETHER BEFORE HE LEFT. BEING YOUNG, WE DIDN'T ALWAYS THINK CAREFULLY ABOUT HOW WE DID THINGS AND WE PUT A HEAVY TOOL BOX FULL OF TOOLS IN THE BACK WINDOW OF THE CAR. JESSICA WAS RIDING IN A LITTLE PLASTIC BABY CARRIER, (DEFINETLY NOT A CAR SEAT) BETWEEN US IN THE CENTER OF THE FRONT SEAT. CLOSE TO WASHINGTON D.C., I HAD NURSED HER AND PUT HER BACK INTO THE LITTLE CARRIER. SHE WAS QUIET, IT WAS HOT AND MUGGY, AND MARTIN AND I WERE JUST RIDING ALONG, NOT TALKING. SUDDENLY I CLEARLY HEARD THE WORDS, "PICK THE BABY UP". I LOOKED AT MARTIN AND TOLD HIM THAT I HAD JUST FED HER AND DIDN'T WANT TO DISTURB HER. HE TOLD ME THAT HE HAD NOT SAID ANYTHING- SO, I THOUGHT, "WELL YES YOU DID, BUT NO BIG DEAL", AND LEFT HER IN THE CARRIER. BUT THEN, STRONGLY AND FORCEFULLY THE WORDS, "PICK UP THE BABY NOW!!!" WELL, SHOOT, OKAY, WHATEVER, I REACHED OVER TO PICK HER UP AND WAS IN THE PROCESS OF LIFTING HER TO MY CHEST WHEN A CAR CUT IN FRONT OF US AND MARTIN HAD TO SLAM ON THE BRAKES. WE SKIDDED TO A JARRING STOP, BARELY MISSING THE CAR AND THE FORCE OF THE SUDDEN STOP CAUSED THE HEAVY TOOLBOX TO SLAM INTO THE FRONT SEAT- RIGHT WHERE THE LITTLE CARRIER WAS! I STUPIDLY LOOKED AT THE TOOL BOX, HELD UP THE BABY FOR MARTIN TO SEE AND STARTED SCREAMING. "OH, MY GOSH, IT COULD HAVE BEEN THE BABY!!! I AM SO GLAD YOU TOLD ME TO PICK HER UP!! SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!!!" MARTIN LOOKED AT ME WITH SHOCK ON HIS FACE AND SAID, "I NEVER SAID A WORD. I WAS LOOKING AT THE WASHINGTON MONMUMENT IN THE DISTANCE. I NEVER SAID A WORD!" AFTER I TRIED TO CALM DOWN A BIT, WE HAD TO GET THE TOOL BOX OUT OF THE FRONT SEAT. WHEN WE MOVED IT, THE LITTLE CARRIER HAD BEEN CRUSHED. JESSICA WOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED. I KNEW THEN THAT HEAVENLY FATHER HAD WARNED ME TO PICK HER UP- THERE WAS NO OTHER EXPLANATION. I CRIED TEARS OF GRATITUDE THANKING HEAVENLY FATHER OVER AND OVER FOR MY BABY'S LIFE. HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE WHEN I NEEDED HIM, EVEN WHEN THINGS ARE SO GRAVE, AS IN THE EXAMPLE OF THE DEATH OF BOBBIE JO, IF ONLY TO ASSURE ME THAT HIS PLAN IS TRUE. FOR THIS INSTANCE HOWEVER, HE SAW FIT TO WARN ME AND I WAS ABLE TO SAVE JESSICA. WE WERE VERY SOBER AFTER THAT, AND THE TRIP WAS MORE QUIET. WE ARRIVED IN HOUSTON ON JULY 8TH, WITH ONLY A WEEK TO GO BEFORE MARTIN LEFT. HOW SAD I WAS. I TRIED TO BE BRAVE, BUT I REALIZED THAT NOT ONLY WAS HE GOING TO BE GONE FOR 18 MONTHS, IF HE WERE KILLED, HE WOULD BE GONE FOREVER. WE HAD LOST SEVERAL FRIENDS IN THE FIGHTING IN VIETNAM, IT WAS VERY REAL TO US HOW SERIOUS THE SITUATION WAS. JUST BEFORE HE LEFT, WE WENT TO GALVESTON, FOR ONE MORE TRIP TO THE BEACH. WE SAT ON THE SAND, AND TALKED ABOUT HOW SPECIAL OUR TIME TOGETHER HAD BEEN SO FAR. "WE WILL HAVE MANY YEARS TOGETHER" HE SAID, "I WILL COME HOME AND WE WILL NEVER BE SEPARATED AGAIN". THE DAY CAME WHEN HE HAD TO LEAVE FOR THE AIRPORT TO FLY TO VIETNAM. IT WAS SO HARD FOR ME, AND TO WATCH HIM BOARD THE PLANE KNOWING I MAY NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN ALMOST MADE ME BREAK DOWN. BUT THIS TIME, THERE WAS NO TIME FOR SILLY HISTRIONICS. I WANTED HIM TO SEE MY SMILE AS HE LEFT- I WANTED HIM TO SEE HOW PROUD I WAS OF HIM. AS HE KISSED ME GOODBYE, I CLUTCHED HIS COAT, HIS HAIR, TOUCHED HIS FACE, HIS LIPS, AND KISSED HIS EYELIDS. I WANTED TO SCREAM AT HIM NOT TO GO, NOT TO LEAVE US, OUR LITTLE BABY GIRL AND ME, NOT TO GO. BUT, FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, I CONTROLLED MY EMOTIONS, AND QUIETLY STOOD IN HIS ARMS. "COME BACK TO ME MARTIN, I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU. COME HOME TO US, TO JESSICA AND ME. COME BACK TO US" I WHISPERED IN HIS EAR. "PLEASE BE CAREFUL, AND DON'T BE TOO BRAVE. BE CAREFUL, I WILL WRITE EVERYDAY. I LOVE YOU, AND CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU". THE TEARS WERE FLOWING DOWN MY FACE, WETTING HIS COAT. BUT, I DID NOT SOB, I JUST SPOKE QUIETLY TO HIM. HE TOOK MY FACE IN HIS HANDS, WIPED MY TEARS AND SAID, "I WILL BE CAREFUL, I WILL NOT BE TOO BRAVE, I WILL COME HOME TO YOU. I PROMISE. I WILL WRITE AS OFTEN AS I CAN- I CANNOT BEAR TO LEAVE YOU AND JESSICA, BUT I HAVE TO. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT I WILL BE BACK. I LOVE YOU BOTH". AND THEN, HE WAS GONE. I WATCHED HIM WALK DOWN THE RAMP TO THE PLANE, AND I THOUGHT MY HEART WOULD BURST. HIS DAD AND LOLA HAD COME TO THE AIRPORT, AND THEY GENTLY TOLD ME THAT WE SHOULD GO ON HOME. SO, WE DID. TWO DAYS LATER, I RECEIVED A POST CARD FROM ALASKA. MARTIN HAD STOPPED OVER IN ALASKA ON THE WAY TO VIETNAM. THE POST CARD SAID, " I LOVE YOU, AND I PUKED ON THE PLANE. (REMEMBER HE DOES NOT FLY WELL). COKES COST A DOLLAR HERE, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? LOVE, YOUR HONEY". I WAS SO HAPPY, HE WAS OKAY SO FAR! THEN, A FEW MORE DAYS WENT BY AND I RECEIVED ANOTHER LETTER FROM HIM. THE INFORMATION WAS BEYOND MY BELIEF. I FELL TO THE FLOOR, CLUTCHING THE ENVELOPE AND LETTER, SOBBING ALOUD. LOLA CAME RUNNING, "WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT'S WRONG WITH BUBBA?" SHE CRIED. " NNOTTHHING, I STAMMERED. NOTHING AT ALL! IT 'S A MIRACLE! A MIRACLE! LOOK!" SHE TOOK THE LETTER, AND BEGAN TO READ. SHE TOO, COULD NOT BELIEVE THE NEWS- WHEN MARTIN'S PLANE LANDED IN OKINAWA JAPAN, ANOTHER LAYOVER TO VIETNAM, THE ARMY OFFICIALS GOT ON THE PLANE AND POINTED OUT MARTIN AND 5 OTHER SOLDIERS. "YOU MEN ARE TO STAY BEHIND HERE IN OKINAWA. YOUR ORDERS ARE CHANGED. LEAVE THE PLANE AND TAKE YOUR STUFF WITH YOU". WELL, IT SEEMS THAT THEY NEEDED 6 MEN TO WORK IN THE MAIL AND TRANSPORTATION DEPARTMENTS THERE ON THE ISLAND. MARTIN HAD TRAINED IN A SPECIALTY FOR WORKING ON ARMY TRUCKS AND VEHICLES AND THEY NEEDED HIM IN THE MOTORPOOL. HE WAS NOT GOING ON TO VIETNAM! HE WAS GOING TO SERVE THE 18 MONTH STRETCH IN OKINAWA! BUT, THE MIRACLE PART WAS: FAMILIES COULD LIVE IN OKINAWA TOO! I COULD GO OVER AND LIVE WITH HIM! I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT, I COULD GO TOO! I WANTED TO CALL HIM BUT HAD NO WAY TO REACH HIM. SO, I IMMEDIATLY GOT A JOB, AND BEGAN TO SAVE TO GO OVER TO BE WITH HIM. LOLA KEPT JESSICA. POOR LITTLE BABY, WAS SO TINY TO HAVE HE MAMA LEAVE HER, BUT I HAD TO- WE HAD TO BE A FAMILY WITH OUR DADDY! I FOUND OUT THAT I COULD ARRIVE ON THE ISLAND OF OKINAWA AS SOON AS SEPTEMBER 7TH OF THAT YEAR. I ONLY HAD 6 WEEKS TO MAKE THAT DATE. I WROTE EVERYDAY, AND MARTIN DID TOO. HE TOLD ME HE HAD FOUND A LITTLE APARTMENT AND COULD MOVE IN ON SEPTEMBER THE FIRST. HE HAD FOUND BABY FURNITURE AT THE SECOND HAND STORE ON BASE, AND SINCE THE APARTMENT WAS FURNISHED, HE ONLY HAD TO GET SOME HOUSEHOLD ITEMS. "HURRY, HURRY" HE WROTE. "I CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE YOU OVER HERE WITH ME." THEN, HE TOLD ME IN ANOTHER LETTER, THAT ONE OF THE MEN HAD SHOT HIMSELF IN THE FOOT SO THAT THE ARMY WOULD SEND HIM HOME. "I HAD THOUGHT OF STUFF LIKE THAT" HE WROTE. "I AM SO LONELY WITHOUT YOU AND THE BABY." I TOLD HIM THAT TIME WOULD PASS QUICKLY, AND TO BE HAPPY. I THANKED HEAVENLY FATHER EVERY NIGHT AND DAY FOR OUR MIRACLE. THE WEEKS PASSED QUICKLY, AND THE MONEY BEGAN TO BUILD UP. THE TICKETS TO OKINAWA WERE 900.00 FOR JESSICA AND I. IT TOOK EVERY DIME WE HAD , MARTIN'S PAY AND MY CHECKS AS WELL TO PAY FOR THE TICKETS AND HAVE ENOUGH FOR JESSICA AND I TO MAKE THE FLIGHT. BUT, WE DID MAKE THE FLIGHT, WITH NO TIME TO SPARE! JUST SHE AND I, ON A PLANE TO GO TO OUR BELOVED DADDY AND SWEETHEART. IT WAS A VERY LONG FLIGHT, AND THE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS HELPED ME WITH MY SMALL BABY. WE STOPPED OVER IN HAWAII, AND THEN IN GUAM. FINALLY, THERE IT WAS, DOWN BELOW, THE ISLAND OF OKINAWA! THEN, WE WERE LANDING- AND GETTING OFF THE PLANE, AND THEN- THERE HE WAS! JUMPING UP AND DOWN, YELLING MY NAME! HE BROKE THROUGH THE CROWD, AND WE HUGGED AND CRIED- TEARS OF RELIEF AND JOY! WE WERE TOGETHER! HEAVENLY FATHER HAD ONCE AGAIN, GIVEN US A MIRACLE. WE WERE ONLY SEPARATED FOR 7 WEEKS! MY SWEETHEART AND I WERE TOGETHER, AND WE KNEW THAT SOMEHOW, WE WOULD NOT BE SEPARATED AGAIN. LOVE, NANASEE