Hey Y'all!

Well, it has been a very long time since I wrote on this blog. Writing has always helped me get through difficult times, ans, once again, I find myself in a very difficult situation. Before I get to that however, let me tell you that today Martin, (dad) and I went to the gravesite where Bobbie Jo and Otto are buried. It is the 2nd anniversary of her funeral, and well, I just wanted to go. While I was there, I remembered something about her funeral that still brings humor to me. Dear Sister Diane Malley was giving a eulogy on Bobbie Jo, and said the dearest thing. She said, "Bobbie Jo was always an obdient child". For those of you who were there, I am sure it was as difficult for you as it was for me not to burst out laughing at that statement. Now, don't get me wrong, when Diane was her teacher at church, Bobbie Jo was an obdient child. Time changes everything, and the Bobbie Jo that we all know and love was very strong and determined to have things her way!
Most especially, today something very special happened at the gravesite. After Bobbie Jo died, Martin and I would go to the gravesite when we could, but it was very hard. We didn't go often, but when we did, it seemed that there was always a ladybug close by. Then, ladybugs began to appear at our home, even in our vehicles. I love ladybugs. I began to wonder why those lovely ladybugs were showing up like they were, as I had not really seen any in a long while. Then, one day at the gravesite, Martin and I were holding each other, and expressing our grief through silent tears. I looked up at Martin to tell him that I loved him and to try to comfort him, when to my huge surprise, a ladybug landed right on one of his tears and rode it down his face. I was so stunned, and from then on, I decided that ladybugs would be a symbol of Bobbie Jo to me. I found a tiny gold ladybug pendant and began to wear it with the necklace that has Otto's name on it, and that I had worn since Otto died 19 years ago. Well, today, when we went to the gravesite with flowers and balloons, guess what? A ladybug landed on Otto's headstone and just sat there. I was so happy, I swear, at the risk of all of you thinking that I am crazy, I believe that somehow, Bobbie Jo and Otto are sending ladybugs to let me know that they are close by. I don't question it anymore, I just think it is very special.
Okay, here goes. It has been 2 years since Bobbie Jo died. While she was so very ill, I was able to share my feelings through this blog, and found great comfort in knowing that all of you were there, thinking of me and praying for me. The time has come once again, for me to lean on you. Be patient with me, as I write about my current difficulties. They seem to be many and overwhelming, but to be fair, as difficult as things seem, the blessings are just as wonderful. So, from now on, I will be writing so that I can relieve my tension and anxiety. I am not averse to any of you offering advice- so feel free to if you want. This will be the first of many posts, and starting tomorrow, I will began to let you all know what is going on. Till then, Love, Nanasee