Angel in the Outfield

I was at a baseball game for Jaybird today, and I realized how fortunate we are that our whole family and many in the community continue with support for this precious little boy. He does not show his grief over losing his Mama, and sometimes I wonder how much he keeps in. If she had been at the game today, she would have been screaming encouragement through the chain link fence each time Jaybird was up to bat or made a play in the outfield. Jaybird does not attend games by himself. He has a wonderful loving support system. He has Peanut and Joe, Nana and Papa, Sissy and Robbie and the boys, his dad Owen, Step-mom Marie and all the other members of the team and their families. Sissy and Peanut take him to practice and pick him up, and all of the family is right there to see to his every need. I know that Bobbie Jo appreciates all of this, and is relieved that her baby is so well looked after. But, at the end of the day, she is not here on earth, but in heaven, and Jaybird is here on earth without her. So, the reason for this posting. Today, Jaybird slammed a ball to the far outfield and made it to second base. We were screaming and cheering for him, and when he slammed into second base way ahead of the ball, he turned to the bleachers where all of us were and raised his arms and jumped up and down. And then, he did something that made me realize how very close he is to his mama. He kissed his fingers and raised them to heaven. It was a tribute to his Mama, a way for him to let her know that he loves her so much. At that moment, I felt something snap in my heart, and I crumbled in tears. I literally covered my face with the neckline of my T-shirt and began to sob. They were not tears of grief, but tears of something; Joy?, maybe a realization of how close Bobbie Jo is to us?; or perhaps tears of expression knowing that she is not dead-simply not here. That gesture from Jaybird gave me a link to my daughter- connected us for a moment, and made me realize that I have not lost her. It is so hard not being able to see her in the flesh, but I have such a testimony that there is life after death, and that families are eternal. It is so wonderful that the simple faith of a little boy made this clear to me once again. Things like that are how I get by day to day, even with the crushing grief that could overcome me. I miss my Son Otto, and my daughter Bobbie Jo. Every moment, I miss them. Thank God for the gift of eternal life- and the sure knowlege that they are so very close to me at all times. Love, nanasee