FLIP FLOP

TODAY WAS THE DAY THAT I DID ALL MY RUNNING AROUND. I CAN'T GO EVERYDAY, AS I HAVE THE GRANDSONS, (5) COMING OVER EVERYDAY, I DON'T DRIVE, AND WHO WANTS TO DRAG THEM INTO THE STORE ANYWAY? BUT, THE CAT WAS OUT OF FOOD, I NEEDED OTHER ITEMS AND I HAD MARTIN IN A FREE MOMENT. THE ONE SPECIAL ERRAND I HAD WAS TO TAKE A LARGE AMOUNT OF CAT LITTER TO THE LOCAL SHELTER. LUCKY HAS BEEN GOING OUTSIDE TO DO HIS BUSINESS, AND I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THAT! NEVERTHELESS, I HAD 75LBS OF CAT LITTER AND SO, I DECIDED TO DONATE IT. MARTIN SAID HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO GO TO WALMART FIRST BEFORE WE WENT TO THE SHELTER, SO THAT WE COULD BUY A LARGE BAG OF CAT FOOD TOO, TO DONATE. (WHAT A SWEET MAN!) OF COURSE, AS SOON AS I GOT IN THE DOOR, HE DISSAPEARED LEAVING ME WITH 4 OF THE FIVE BOYS, AS JAYBIRD STAYED HOME TODAY. I THREATENED THEM, AND THEN TOLD THEM THAT THEY COULD HAVE A GOODIE IF THEY WERE GOOD. I THINK WHEN LITTLE BOYS, AGES 11,9,7 AND 5 CONSIDER BEING GOOD, THEY FEEL THAT IF THE STORE IS STILL STANDING AND NO ONE WAS KILLED, THEY WERE GOOD. IMMEDIATLY ONE HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. OKAY, GO AND I'LL WAIT HERE WITH THE OTHERS. AMAZINGLY, HE CAME RIGHT BACK! THEN, IT SEEMED THAT THE GROCERY CART MUST HAVE BEEN ELECTRIFIED OR SOMETHING, AS THEY WANTED TO BE AS FAR IN FRONT OF IT AS THEY COULD GO. I SPENT THE GREATER PART OF AN HOUR CALLING, FROWNING, SMILING, WHATEVER IT TOOK TO GET THE MESSAGE ACROSS THAT THEY HAD TO STAY WITH ME. WE WERE DOING PRETTY GOOD, (ONE OF THEM KNOCKED DOWN A DISPLAY OF TOILET PAPER, ANOTHER PICKED UP A 25LB BAG OF FLOUR AND COULD NOT PUT IT BACK, YET ANOTHER PULLED A LARGE BAG OF CAT FOOD OFF THE SHELF) WHEN I REALIZED THAT I HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! WITHOUT GOING INTO DETAILS, LET ME SAY, THAT WHEN I HAVE TO GO, I HAVE TO GO! SO, I TAKE THEM ALL OVER THE THE BATHROOM, AND NOW I HAVE A REAL CONUNDRUM. THEY ARE TOO OLD TO GO INTO THE LADIES ROOM, AND I ABSOLUTELY KNOW THAT THEY ARE NOT GOING TO SIT STILL FOR ME TO GO. ACTUALLY, I FEARED FOR THE ELDERLY, AS THOSE BOYS WOULD HAVE SHOT ACROSS THE STORE AS SOON AS I WALKED INSIDE. AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, THERE WERE A COUPLE OF CONSTRUCTION WORKERS SITTING ON A BENCH OUTSIDE THE BATHROOMS. WITH ALL THEIR TATTOOS, THEY LOOKED LIKE THEY HAD JUST COME OUT OF THE "BIG HOUSE". THEIR HEADS WERE SHAVEN AND THEY LOOKED REALLY INTIMIDATING. BUT, THEY HAD WALMART BADGES ON, SO I FELT THAT THEY WERE PROBABLY PRETTY SAFE. I GOT A GREAT IDEA. I ASKED THEM IF THEY WOULD MAKE SURE THE LITTLE BOYS DID NOT MOVE OFF THE BENCH WHILE I WENT INTO THE LADIES ROOM. THEY GOT THE IDEA, AND GRINNED MENACINGLY AS I EXPLAINED TO THE BOYS THAT THOSE TWO GUYS WERE GOING TO TELL ME IF THE BOYS GOT UP. LOOKING AT THOSE GUYS, THE BOYS ACTUALLY TURNED A SHADE OF WHITE. I SWEAR, WHEN I GOT OUT OF THE BATHROOM, THOSE BOYS HAD NOT MOVED A MUSCLE. THEIR LITTLE HANDS WERE FOLDED IN THEIR LAPS AND THEY WERE STARING STRAIGHT AHEAD. WINKING AT THE "GUARDIANS" I SAID, "DID ANYONE GET UP?" THEY GOT THE IDEA, AND CAREFULLY LOOKED OVER EACH BOY, FROWNING AS THEY DID. THOSE BOYS EYES GOT SO BIG, I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO FALL OUT OF THEIR HEADS. A CHORUS OF "NOT ME NANA, I DIDN'T MOVE!" CAME RUSHING AT ME. I SWEETLY SMILED AND SAID, "WELL, I WASN'T WORRIED, YOU ARE ALL SUCH GOOD BOYS!" THEY SAGGED WITH RELIEF. I THANKED THE TWO MEN, AND TOOK THE BOYS TO MCDONALDS TO GET A SLURPEE. WHILE THERE, A WOMAN SAID TO ME, "ARE THOSE YOUR GRANDCHILDREN? THEY ARE SO CUTE, YOU KNOW, MY CHILDREN ARE ALMOST GROWN, AND I WILL BE OFF THE HOOK! I CAN SEE DAYLIGHT FROM HERE!" I SAID, "PLEASE! THEY DON'T GROW UP AND GO AWAY, THEY MULTIPLY, GET JOBS AND BRING THEIR KIDS BACK HOME TO YOU!" WELL, WE FINALLY FOUND PAPA, AND HE HAD A LARGE BAG OF CAT FOOD TOO. WE BOUGHT BOTH BAGS AT HIS INSISTANCE, LOADED THE TRUCK AND HEADED FOR THE ANIMAL SHELTER. TO MY JOY AND AMAZEMENT, THE SHELTER WAS DOWN TO IT'S LAST HALF BAG OF CAT FOOD, AND WAS SO HAPPY THAT WE HAD COME BY WITH SOME. I SAT GLOWING ALL THE WAY HOME, THINKING THAT I WAS GLAD THAT MARTIN HAD INSISTED ON BUYING TWO BAGS, AND FEELING THAT HEAVENLY FATHER HAD GUIDED US IN THE PURCHASE. WHEN WE GOT HOME, TO MY SURPRISE, SISSY'S GERMAN SHEPHERD THOR, HAD GOTTEN OUT OF THE BACK YARD AND WAS ON THE PATIO. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? THEN, WHEN I OPENED THE BACK DOOR, TO MY SHOCK, THE ENTIRE KITCHEN FLOOR, THE FRESHLY PAINTED LAUNDRY ROOM DOORS, THE HALLWAY, THE BEDROOM, THE HALL WALLS AND MY OFFICE WERE COVERED WITH CHOCOLATE PUDDING DOG PRINTS AND SWISHES FROM HIS TAIL. THERE WAS PUDDING EVERYWHERE. EVERYWHERE! JACOB HAD OPENED A SMALL PUDDING THAT MORNING, BUT THERE WASN'T ENOUGH TO HAVE GONE THROUGH THE WHOLE HOUSE WITH IT, EVEN IF THE DOG HAD FOUND IT. AND THE FUNNY THING IS, IT WAS DRIED HARD. I WAS YELLING AT THE DOGS, AT MARTIN TO HELP ME, AT THE BOYS TO GET PAPER TOWELS TO START CLEANING UP THE MESS. THEN, LIBBY, WHO WAS VISITING, QUIETLY TOLD ME THAT IT WASN'T PUDDING, BUT BROWN PAINT! AND, SURE ENOUGH, WHEN THOR JUMPED ONTO THE PATIO, HE KNOCKED OVER A FULL CAN OF BROWN PAINT, WALLOWED IN IT AND THEN CHASED THE CAT THROUGH THE HOUSE. MARTIN SARCASTICALLY SAID, "DO WE HAVE ANY CAT LITTER TO SOAK UP THE PAINT? WAIT, NO, BUT THE ANIMAL SHELTER DOES!" I JUST COLLAPSED AT THE KITCHEN TABLE, TRIED TO CALM MYSELF, BUTTHERE ARE NOT WORDS TO TELL YOU HOW I FELT. IN THE MIDST OF MY ANGUISH, IT OCCURRED TO ME THAT I HAD FOUR ABLE AND HEALTHY BOYS THAT COULD START THE CLEAN-UP. THOSE SWEET BOYS SCRUBBED AND MOPPED THE FLOOR UNTIL THEY ACTUALLY GOT ALL THE PAINT UP! THANK GOODNESS THE WHOLE HOUSE IS TILED. BUT, THE DOORS STILL HAVE BROWN PAINT SWISHES, A FEW ON THE WALLS, AND THE CAT HAS BROWN PAINT ON HIM. SO, I WENT FROM FEELING LIKE A "CAT-SAVING MOTHER THERESA" TO A VERY HUMBLED VICTIM OF ANIMAL GRAFFITI. FLIP-FLOP! NEVER GET TOO COCKY I SAY, YOU WILL ALWAYS GET KNOCKED ON YOUR HINEY! MY SON AARON CAME IN TODAY! I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM, AND HOPE TO SPEND SOME QUALITY SCRABBLE TIME WITH HIM OVER THE WEEKEND. POOR BABY, SINCE HE IS A DOCTOR, HE HAS ALREADY HAD FAMILY MEMBERS SAYING, "HEY, LOOK AT THIS- OR, DO YOU THINK THIS IS ANYTHING?" I GUESS THERE IS NO VACATION FOR A DOCTOR. WELL, MORE TOMORROW, MAYBE IF I THINK ABOUT IT, I WILL TELL YOU OF MY COOKIE JARS AND HOW THEY HAVE HELPED ME! LOVE, NANASEE