ANOTHER PASSING.

AFTER MOTHER DIED, CHRISTMAS CAME AND THEN THE NEW YEAR. LOLA, WHO IS MARTIN'S STEP-MOTHER, BUT IN HIS LIFE SINCE HE WAS YOUNG, WAS HEALTHY AND HARDY. SHE LOVED MARTIN, AND HE MADE SURE HE WOULD GO AND HAVE DINNER WITH HER AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK SO HE COULD SPEND TIME WITH HER. SHE WAS SO FIESTY, WE DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN TO HER. MARTIN DID ALL THE MAINTENANCE ON HER HOUSE, AND SHE WOULD LET NO ONE TOUCH ANYTHING UNTIL HE GAVE HIS APPROVAL. ONCE, WHEN THE WATER MAIN FROM THE STREET TO THE HOUSE BEGAN TO LEAK, SHE CALLED THE CITY TO COME OUT. SHE WOULD NOT LET THE REPAIR MAN DO ANYTHING UNTIL MARTIN GOT THERE TO MAKE SURE HE WAS DOING IT RIGHT! IT WAS WINTER, THE WEATHER COLD, THE WATER SPEWING, BUT NO, THEY HAD TO WAIT FOR MARTIN. IT IS EASY TO TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED, AND WE CERTAINLY SEEM TO DO THAT ON MANY OCCASIONS. IN THE LATE SPRING OF 2004, LOLA CALLED EARLY ONE MORNING AND TOLD MARTIN SHE HAD A STOMACH ACHE. HE ASKED HER WHAT SHE HAD EATEN, AND HOW LONG HER TUMMY HAD BEEN HURTING. "OH, A FEW MONTHS" SHE REPLIED. THAT WAS ON A SATURDAY, AND MARTIN TOOK HER TO THE DOCTOR ON MONDAY. THEY DIAGNOSED A "TOUCH OF SOMETHING" AND TOLD HER TO GO EASY ON HER DIET. A WEEK PASSED, AND THE PAIN DID NOT GET ANY BETTER. ON THE FOLLOWING FRIDAY, MARTIN AND I TOOK LOLA TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. SHE WAS FRIGHTENED, BUT I TOLD HER NOT TO WORRY, WE WOULD BE THERE WITH HER. SHE WAS IN HER EARLY 70'S AND HAD THE MENTALITY THAT THE DOCTORS WERE "GOD"AND WAS VERY INTIMIDATED BY THEM AND ALL HOSPITAL PERSONEL. AS WE CHECKED HER IN, THE TRIAGE NURSE WAS QUITE CRABBY. SHE ASKED LOLA WHAT THE PROBLEM WAS, AND LOLA TOLD HER SHE WAS NOT SURE. THE NURSE THEN SNAPPED, "WELL, IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU THEN WHY ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME?" LOLA LOOKED VERY UPSET, AND I GENTLY TOLD HER TO WAIT OUTSIDE, I WOULD TAKE CARE OF IT. SHE LEFT THE BOOTH, AND I LIT INTO THAT NURSE. "LISTEN, THAT IS SOMEONE DEAR TO ME AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TREAT HER LIKE THAT. YOU MAY BE HAVING A BAD DAY, BUT I DON'T CARE, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT OUT ON FRIGHTENED LITTLE OLD LADIES. IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR JOB, IF YOU ARE BORED, IF YOU ARE TIRED, I DON'T CARE. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE, THEN GET OUT AND LET SOMEONE ELSE WORK HERE WHO APPRECIATES THE OPPORTUNITY AND IS GOOD TO THE PATIENTS. OH, AND GET ME SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE CARE OF MY MOTHER-IN-LAW. I WOULDN'T LET YOU TAKE CARE OF MY DOG!" I THEN WENT AND MADE A COMPLAINT TO THE SUPERVISOR, AND TRIED TO COMFORT LOLA. SHE WAS VERY UPSET. WHEN THEY FINALLY TOOK HER BACK TO BE EXAMINED, SHE SHOWED THEM THAT HER STOMACH WAS SWOLLEN AND PAINFUL. THE ADMITTED HER TO THE HOSPITAL, AND FOR THE NEXT WEEK, DID ALL KINDS OF TESTS. SHE COULD HAVE NO FOOD, ONLY LIQUIDS, AND SHE WAS DISTRESSED ABOUT THAT. MARTIN VISITED HER EVERYDAY, BEFORE AND AFTER WORK, AND STAYED WHEN HE COULD. FINALLY, TO MAKE A VERY LONG STORY SHORT, THEY DECIDED THAT SHE HAD A BOWEL BLOCKAGE AND DID SURGERY. THEY FOUND STAGE FOUR COLON CANCER. THE SURGERY WAS VERY HARD ON HER, AND SHE NEVER REALLY WAS ABLE TO COME OUT OF IT. MARTIN AND I TOOK SOME OF OUR THINGS AND MOVED INTO HER HOUSE TO BE CLOSER TO HER, AND MAKE IT EASIER TO BE WITH HER. THE FOLLOWING MONDAY, SHE BEGAN TO GO SEPTIC AND ON TUESDAY WAS PUT ON A VENTILLATOR. WEDNSDAY, SHE WORSENED, AND WAS GIVEN A BLESSING ON THURSDAY BY THE PRIESTHOOD OF OUR CHURCH. IN THE BLESSING SHE WAS TOLD THAT SHE COULD GO HOME IF SHE WANTED, IT WAS TIME FOR HER TO HAVE PEACE. SHE FELL ASLEEP, AND WENT INTO A COMA. THURSDAY NIGHT, I AWOKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITH A FEELING OF PEACE, AND THE MESSAGE FLOWING THROUGH ME THAT WE SHOULD ALLOW LOLA TO PASS FROM THIS LIFE. I WOKE MARTIN UP AND TOLD HIM THAT PERHAPS WE SHOULD MAKE THE DECISION TO DISCONNECT THE LIFE SUPPORT FROM LOLA. HE TOLD ME THAT HE HAD THE SAME FEELING, AND ONLY FELT PEACE ABOUT IT. SO, AFTER PRAYER FOR STRENGTH, EARLY ON FRIDAY, WE TOLD HER DOCTOR TO LET HER GO. IT TOOK A COUPLE OF HOURS TO GET EVERYTHING IN ORDER, BUT FINALLY, THE DOCTOR DISCONNECTED LOLA FROM THE MACHINES. IT WAS SO QUIET, AND I HELD MARTIN AS HE QUIETLY SOBBED. I DID NOT FEEL ANYTHING, I DON'T KNOW WHY. THE HOSPITAL CHAPLAIN STOOD THERE WITH US, BUT ANOTHER MINISTER CAME INTO THE ROOM AS WELL. HE STOOD NEXT TO ME AND QUIETLY ASKED ME IF I KNEW HOW TO GET INTO HEAVEN. I LOOKED AT HIM AND QUIETLY SAID, "YES I DO". "NO" HE SAID, "DO YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO GET INTO HEAVEN?" THIS ANNOYED ME, AS IT WAS NOT T HE TIME TO BE "BRINGING IN SOULS". I LOOKED HIM IN THE EYE AND SAID, "STRAIGHT IS THE WAY AND NARROW IS THE GATE THAT LEADETH INTO THE KINDOM OF GOD". "THAT IS ALL WELL AND GOOD," HE SAID, "BUT DO YOU PERSONALLY KNOW THE WAY INTO THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN?" THIS REALLY ANGERED ME. COULDN'T HE SEE THAT LOLA LAY DYING? WHY COULDN'T HE LEAVE IT ALONE. I SAID TO HIM, "LISTEN BUDDY, IF STRAIGHT IS THE WAY AND NARROW IS THE GATE TO THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, THEN GREASE MY HIPS AND THROW IN A TWINKIE! THAT OUGHT TO GET ME IN FOR SURE!" HE GASPED AND STEPPED BACK. I NODDED MY HEAD AT THE DOOR INDICATING THAT HE SHOULD LEAVE. HE WAS GLAD TO GET AWAY FROM ME, I AM SURE! WITHIN 17 MINUTES OF DISCONNECTING LIFE SUPPORT, LOLA PASSED FROM THIS WORLD. I WAITED FOR THE GRIEF TO OVERCOME ME, BUT IT DID NOT. I ONLY FELT PEACEFUL FOR HER AND FOR US. WE WERE SADDENED BY HER PASSING, AND IT CAST A PALL OVER THE FAMILY. THIS WAS THE SECOND DEATH FOR US IN LESS THAN 8 MONTHS, MOTHER IN THE LATE FALL AND LOLA IN JUNE. ON TOP OF THAT, JESSICA WAS OVERDUE TO HAVE JACOB, AND THE DAY AFTER THE FUNERAL, JACOB WAS BORN. IT WAS SO SPECIAL THAT HE CAME AT SUCH A SAD TIME, IT GAVE US SO MUCH JOY TO HAVE HIM JOIN THE FAMILY. I WAS EXHAUSTED, HAVING SAT UP DAY AND NIGHT WITH LOLA, AND WASN'T MUCH HELP TO JESSICA, BUT SHE IS STRONG AND DID JUST FINE. WE ARE SO GRATEFUL THAT HE CAME TO HELP US AFTER LOLA DIED, AND IT GOES TO SHOW THAT LIFE GOES ON AND DEATH IS A PART OF THE CIRCLE OF LIFE. TOMORROW, I WILL TELL YOU OF MY 50TH BIRTHDAY, AND THE WONDERFUL TIME IT WAS FOR ME. MY BIRTHDAY CAME JUST 3 WEEKS AFTER WE LOST LOLA, AND MARTIN DID SOMETHING REALLY SPECIAL TO LIGHTEN OUR MOOD. LOVE, NANASEE