LIFE AFTER THE FIRE

SO, WE HAD A FIRE AND OUR NEWLY ADDED ONTO HOUSE WAS RUINED. THAT NIGHT, WE SPENT THE NIGHT ON THE FLOOR OF THE NEIGHBORS HOME DOWN THE STREET, BECAUSE I HAD NO EXPERIENCE WITH INSURANCE AND DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEY WOULD PAY FOR LODGING. THE FIRE HAPPENED ON DECEMBER 10TH, 1988, AND CHRISTMAS WAS FAST APPROACHING. AS I MENTIONED, THE CHRISTMAS WE HAD THAT YEAR WAS WONDERFUL DUE TO THE KINDESS AND CARING OF OUR COMMUNITY AND CHURCH FAMILY. WITHIN A FEW DAYS, WE FOUND A LITTLE BRICK HOUSE CLOSE BY AND MOVED IN. I WAS SO FRIGHTENED, BECAUSE I WAS NOT SURE WHAT THE INSURANCE WOULD COVER, AND AT THE TIME WE STILL THOUGHT IT WAS A FAULTY OUTLET. SINCE MARTIN HAD INSTALLED THE OUTLET, I THOUGHT PERHAPS WE WOULD NOT BE COVERED. THE FIRST LESSON I RECEIVED THROUGH THIS TRIAL, IS THAT IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS. I LEARNED TO NOT ASSUME ANYTHING! ASK QUESTIONS! GET ANSWERS! WE SOON LEARNED THAT WE WERE FULLY COVERED, AND COULD START REPAIRS. WE STILL HAD THE BUSINESS OF THE HOLIDAYS TO ATTEND TO, AND SO I TRIED TO MAKE EVERYTHING AS NORMAL AS POSSIBLE. MARTIN'S SISTER CHERYL AND HER CHILDREN LIVED CLOSE BY AND CAME OVER ONE EVENING FOR HOT CHOCOLATE, COOKIES AND SOME FUN. THE LITTLE HOUSE WAS ON THE BANKS OF A BAYOU, (SORT OF LIKE A CEMENT INCLOSED CREEK FOR THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH A BAYOU). THE HILL LEADING DOWN TO THE BAYOU WAS QUITE STEEP, AND TO OUR HAPPY SURPRISE, IT BECAME VERY COLD AND SLEET BEGAN TO FALL THAT EVENING. WE TOOK SOME LARGE CARDBOARD BOXES, AND WENT TO THE BAYOU TO "SLED" ON THE SLICK GRASS. NONE OF MY TEXAS BABIES HAD EVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE SLEDDING BEFORE, BUT I HAD PLENTY OF TIMES IN MISSOURI, SO I TOLD THEM HOW TO SIT ON THE CARDBOARD AND HOLD ON WHILE FLYING DOWN THE HILL. THE TRICK TO THIS PARTICULAR SLEDDING INCIDENT WAS TO STOP BEFORE YOU WENT ALL THE WAY INTO THE WATER. CHERYL AND I STAYED AT THE TOP OF THE HILL AND THE CHILDREN RODE OVER AND OVER TO THE BOTTOM. THERE WERE 9 CHILDREN BETWEEN CHERYL AND I AND WE WOULD SETTLE THEM ON THE CARDBOARD AND LINE UP THE OTHERS TO WAIT YET ANOTHER TURN. IT WAS COLD, GETTING LATE AND I WAS GETTING TIRED. AS I WENT TO HELP ANOTHER CHILD, I STEPPED ON A VERY SLICK PIECE OF CARDBOARD AND FELL ON MY HINEY. THE IMPACT OF THE LANDING MADE ME BUMP UP INTO THE AIR A BIT, AND AS I TRIED TO STAND UP, I FOUND MYSELF ROLLING DOWN THE HILL. I COULDN'T GET A GRIP AND ROLLED FASTER. THE KIDS AND CHERYL WERE CHANTING, "GO AUNT JODIE, GO AUNT JODIE" FOR ENCOURAGEMENT. I COULD NOT STOP AND I KNEW THAT THE MOMENTUM WAS GOING TO TOSS ME STRAIGHT INTO THE WATER. THE WHOLE TIME I AM ROLLING, I AM YELLING FOR SOMEONE TO STOP ME! IN MY MIND, I COULD ALREADY FEEL THE FRIGID WATER CLOSING OVER MY VERY BATTERED BODY, AND THEN, I SAW A PAIR OF STURDY LEGS CLOSE BY. I CLUTCHED WITH DESPERATION THOSE STURDY LEGS ONLY TO HAVE THEM COLLAPSE AND MY POOR SON AARON FALL ON TOP OF ME AND CONTINUE DOWN THE HILL WITH ME. SOMEHOW, HE WAS ABLE TO SLOW US DOWN, AND JUST BEFORE WE PLUNGED INTO THE ICY WATERS OF THE BAYOU, WE STOPPED. WELL, JIMENY CRICKET, THOSE IDIOTS AT THE TOP OF THE HILL WERE STILL CLAPPING AND CHANTING FOR ME. THEY THOUGHT I DID IT ON PURPOSE, AND WERE REALLY ENJOYING THEMSELVES. I PICKED UP MY FROZEN SELF AND HELPED MY TREMBLING SON TO HIS FEET. "GOSH MOM, I THOUGHT I WAS DONE FOR!" HE SAID. I TOLD HIM I WAS GLAD THAT HE HAD BEEN THERE, HE REALLY SAVED ME FROM GETTING WET. (THE BAYOU IS PROBABLY ONLY ABOUT 3 FEET DEEP). SO, UP THE HILL WE TRUDGED TO CONGRATULATIONS FOR THE BEST TRIP (PARDON THE PUN) OF THE EVENING. WE ALL WENT IN, HAD OUR REFRESHMENTS AND CALLED IT A NIGHT. SOON, IT WAS CHRISTMAS DAY. EVERYONE WAS UNDER A LOT OF STRESS WITH THE LOSS OF THE HOUSE AND EVERYTHING, AND WE WERE ONE CRABBY FAMILY. I TRIED TO CHEER EVERYONE UP AND GOT THEM READY TO GO TO MARTIN'S DAD AND LOLA'S HOUSE FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER. BOBBIE JO WAS PARTICULARLY UPSET AND REFUSED TO COOPERATE, SLOWING THE FAMILY FROM LEAVING. I TOLD HER TO GET IT TOGETHER OR ELSE! SHE GOT MAD AND LEFT THE HOUSE. I TOLD MARTIN TO LOAD THE CAR AND I WOULD BE RIGHT BACK. I WENT TO THE END OF THE STREET WHERE THE BAYOU WAS, AS THAT WAS THE DIRECTION SHE WAS HEADING. SURE ENOUGH, THERE SHE WAS, SITTING UNDER THE BAYOU BRIDGE LOOKING ANGRY AND FORLORN. I STARTED OVER TO HER AND THEN I NOTICED SOMETHING THAT REALLY FRIGHTENED ME. A MAN WHO LOOKED LIKE A STREET BUM WAS SLOWLY CREEPING UP ON HER FROM AN ANGLE SHE COULD NOT SEE. WELL, WITH MY VIVID IMAGINATION, I FIGURED THAT HE WAS UP TO NO GOOD. HE WAS MUCH CLOSER THAN I WAS, AND THINKING QUICKLY, I YELLED BOBBIE JO'S NAME. SHE TURNED TO LOOK AT ME, AND THAT MAN BEGAN TO MOVE MORE QUICKLY TOWARD HER. I DON'T KNOW IF HE SAW ME OR NOT, BUT I PICKED UP A LARGE ROCK AND THREW IT AT HIM AS HARD AS I COULD, MISSING HIM OF COURSE. HE LOOKED SURPRISED, AND THEN I YELLED AT HIM TO GET AWAY FROM MY CHILD OR HE WOULD WISH HE HAD. I PICKED UP SOME MORE ROCKS AND YELLED AT BOBBIE JO TO COME TO ME. I WAS PREPARED TO KICK THE STUFFING OUT OF HIM IF I HAD TO- SEEING THAT MAN, SHE JUMPED UP AND RAN TO ME, AND THE MAN BEGAN TO RUN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. IT WAS SO CLOSE! WHAT IF I HADN'T BEEN THERE? I KNOW HE WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO HER OR TAKEN HER OFF. AFTER REALIZING THE DANGER SHE HAD BEEN IN, BOBBIE JO WAS MORE CONTRITE AND WE WENT ON TO HAVE A NICE CHRISTMAS DINNER. ONCE AGAIN, THE SPIRIT GUIDED ME TO PROTECT MY CHILD. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THAT. THE NEW YEAR BEGAN, AND WE HAD MUCH TO DO TO REBUILD THE HOUSE. AS I MENTIONED BEFORE, MARTIN HIRED OUT THE BIG WORK, BUT WANTED TO DO AS MUCH AS HE COULD TO SAVE MONEY IF POSSIBLE. IT WAS TOUGH ON EVERYONE, AND TEMPERS WERE SHORT. MARTIN AND I FUSSED AND ARGUED QUITE A BIT, AND THE CHILDREN WERE UNEASY SEEING US ACT THAT WAY. FINALLY ON EASTER SUNDAY, SOMETHING HAPPENED THAT I THOUGHT WOULD NEVER BE A PART OF OUR RELATIONSHIP. WE WERE WORKING, EVEN ON EASTER SUNDAY, AND WERE TIRED AND CRABBY. MARTIN WAS ON A LADDER, AND I WAS STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO THE LADDER. HE WAS ON THE TOP RUNG, AND ASKED ME TO HAND HIM A PAINT BRUSH. I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION, AND HE SNAPPED AT ME TO GIVE HIM A BRUSH. I STARTED TO TELL HIM TO GET HIS OWN DARN BRUSH, BUT THOUGHT BETTER OF IT AND BENT TO PICK UP THE PAINT BRUSH HE WANTED. HE BROUGHT HIS HAND DOWN TO GET THE BRUSH, NOT REALIZING HOW CLOSE I WAS STANDING SMACKED ME SQUARE ACROSS THE FACE, CAUSING ME TO FALL. I SQUEALED AND FELL INTO A HEAP AT THE BASE OF THE LADDER, AND HE JUMPED DOWN AND KNELT OVER ME TO SEE WHAT HAD HAPPENED. I THOUGHT HE HAD HIT ME ON PURPOSE, AND IN A FIT OF RAGE, WHILE LYING ON MY BACK, I GRABBED A GALLON CAN OF PAINT AND SLAMMED INTO THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD, THE WHOLE TIME SCREAMING AT HIM THAT HE WASN'T GOING TO HIT ME AGAIN! THE POOR MAN JUST FELL OVER SIDEWAYS, STUNNED. THE KIDS CAME RUNNING, AND SAW THE PAINT THAT HAD FLOWN OUT OF THE CAN, THE EMPTY PAINT CAN SWINGING BY IT'S HANDLE FROM MY HAND AND DADDY LYING ON HIS SIDE HALF COVERED WITH PAINT. "MAMA! WHY DID YOU SLUG DADDY WITH A CAN OF PAINT!" CRIED JESSICA. IN A SPLIT SECOND, I REALIZED WHAT I HAD TO DO. "LOOK, I THOUGHT DADDY HIT ME AND I GOT ANGRY AND HIT HIM BACK" I TOLD HER. "WE SHOULDN'T BE KIDDING AROUND LIKE THIS, SOMEONE COULD GET HURT. MAMA IS SORRY, AND I KNOW DADDY IS TOO!" IT WAS AT THAT MOMENT THAT IT HIT ME HOW FAR WE HAD DRIFTED IN OUR RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER. I WAS TERRIFIED THAT OUR SOMETHING SPECIAL WAS RUINED FOREVER. I QUICKLY DECIDED TO DO DAMAGE CONTROL, AND SENT THE KIDS OUT OF THE ROOM. I APOLOGIZED FOR HITTING HIM, AND HE BEGAN TO TELL ME THAT HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT HE HAD HIT ME UNTIL I HAD FALLEN. WE REALIZED AT THAT MOMENT THAT WE HAD TO FIX THE SITUATION, AND INSTEAD OF CONTINUING WITH THE WORK, SAT IN THE PAINT AND BEGAN TO TALK. MARTIN TOLD ME THAT HE WAS DISCOURAGED WITH HIS RESPONSIBILITIES. THE CHILDREN, WORK, AND THE HOUSE WERE TAKING A TOLL ON HIM. I WANTED TO YELL AND ASK WHAT HE THOUGHT I WAS GOING THROUGH! BUT, FOR ONCE, I KNEW TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT AND LET HIM SPEAK. IT TOOK A WHILE, BUT WE WERE ABLE TO EXPRESS OUR HURTS, DISCOURAGEMENTS AND DIFFICULTIES. WE REALIZED THAT WE HAD NOT CONSIDERED EACH OTHER'S FEELINGS, AND HAD COME TO A POINT THAT MAY HAVE DESTROYED OUR SPECIAL LOVE. I AM GLAD TO SAY, THAT IT WAS AT THAT POINT THAT I SAW THE YOUNG MAN ONCE AGAIN WHO HAD FILLED MY CUPBOARDS WITH FOOD, AND CARRIED THE LOAD OF A LARGE FAMILY FOR 16 YEARS. I FELT LOVE FOR HIM RUSH BACK INTO MY HEART AND SOUL, AND WAS FILLED WITH REMORSE AND ANGUISH THAT I HAD ALLOWED OUR RELATIONSHIP TO DETERIORATE. HE WAS SO HURT AND OVERBURDENED, AND I COULD NOT SEE IT. SO, AT THAT MOMENT, WE STARTED OVER. WE GOT UP, CLEANED UP, AND TOOK THE CHILDREN OUT FOR DINNER. I RESOLVED NEVER AGAIN TO LET MY SELFISH FEELINGS COME BETWEEN SOMETHING SO PRECIOUS IN OUR LIVES. AFTER THAT, WE STILL HAD TO FINISH THE HOUSE, BUT WE LOOKED FOR WAYS TO SPEND TIME ALONE. MARTIN CAME HOME FROM WORK ONE DAY, AND TOLD THE KIDS TO COME IN. HE HAD TWO ROLLS OF NICKLES IN HIS HAND, AND THE KIDS WATCHED WHILE HE PEELED BACK THE PAPER AND THREW THOSE NICKLES INTO THE GRASS IN A WIDE ARC! "DADDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" ASKED MY SURPRISED CHILDREN, AND HE TOLD THEM THAT THEY COULD KEEP EVERY NICKLE THAT THEY COULD FIND. IF THEY FOUND ALL OF THEM, HE WOULD TAKE THEM FOR A SNOW CONE. THEY WHOOPED IN JOY AND DASHED INTO THE FRONT YARD. SEEING MY CONFUSION, HE SAID, "C'MON BABY, WE GOT ABOUT 10 MINUTES!" AND THEN GRABBED MY HAND AND RAN FOR THE BEDROOM! I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD, THAT I COULD HARDLY DO ANYTHING ELSE, BUT WHAT A SWEET WAY TO FIND SOME "ALONE TIME". AFTER THAT, EACH PAYDAY, HE WOULD BRING HOME MORE NICKLES AND THE AWAITING CHILDREN WERE READY TO DASH OUT AND FIND NICKLES. TO THIS DAY, A ROLL OF NICKLES HAS SPECIAL MEANING FOR ME! OTHER TIMES, WE WOULD GET A BABYSITTER AND GO FOR A RIDE, A WALK, OR GO GROCERY SHOPPING. SOMETIMES WE SAT ON THE EDGE OF THE BAYOU, OR DID SILLY LITTLE THINGS, AS LONG AS IT WAS JUST THE TWO OF US. WE DID NOT SPEND MUCH ON OUR ALONE TIME, BUT THOSE TIMES WERE VERY SPECIAL. WE FELL IN LOVE MORE THAN EVER, AND WERE VERY CAREFUL TO SHOW RESPECT AND CARING IN EVERYTHING WE DID. I AM SORRY TO THINK THAT WE HAD REACHED THE POINT OF BEING VIOLENT WITH EACH OTHER, BUT I AM PROUD TO THINK THAT WE WERE ABLE TO TAKE THAT EXPERIENCE AND START ANEW. WE HAD COME A LONG WAY, AND THERE WERE MANY MORE YEARS AND EXPERIENCES FOR US TO ENJOY. I WILL TELL YOU MORE TOMORROW, LOVE, NANASEE